I'm Dreaming of a....

Not a white Christmas because I don't have to dream about that. That is reality. I guess I'm dreaming of a more diverified Christmas. Ya know what I mean? I've been looking around for a tree topper that doesn't have blue eyes and blonde hair but it seems as though all angel tree toppers only come in that style. What if I wanted a Asian angel at the top of my tree? Why aren't there more types of ornaments available? Well my guess would be that we are all supposed to just conform to the way thing are now, pretty white Christmas. I don't think I want to adapt to that.

An Ah-Ha Moment

I heard a quote today that made me stop and really think. I mean, it was one of those light bulb moments where I had to really look inside to answer the question myself. That quote was simply this: "You never know when your life will change. Are you prepared?"

I don't know if that same statement will strike anyone the way it did with me but I really had to take a few moments to realize that my answer is mostly no. One of my goals is to be a writer. Actually I already am a writer in my mind but can I prove it to anyone else? What have I written, that if a publisher came to me and offered me a deal, that I could produce to have read. I also want to have my own business but do I have a concrete idea of what I want that business to be? Again, no. So even if someone where to come to me and say "hey, I will give you $500,000 to start a business right now if you can give me your business idea and plan" I would have to stumble through half thought out ideas of business that I would like to start but I wouln't have anything concrete. Hearing this quote today has kind of jarred me into a sense of urgency. I need to get prepared.

Most of us spend our lives living from day to day but not really preparing for the next level because we are so wrapped up just getting through the day. God did not give us life just to "get by". So again "You never know when your life will change. Are you prepared?"

We Need More Stories Like This..

I just read this article online, not only did I love what the mother did (I'm sure she was a black lady ) but I think more parents need to discipline their children more than making excuses for them. Those same excuses are why kids are doing just about anything nowadays. I'm only 28 but we had more respect for authority, parents, teacher, and even strangers back in the day. Anyway check out the article:

COLUMBIA, S.C. - A fed-up mother had her 12-year-old son arrested for allegedly rummaging through his great-grandmother's things and playing with his Christmas present early.
The mother called police Sunday after learning her son had disobeyed orders and repeatedly taken a Game Boy from its hiding place at his great-grandmother's house next door and played it. He was arrested on petty larceny charges, taken to the police station in handcuffs and held until his mother picked him up after church.
"My grandmother went out of her way to lay away a toy and paid on this thing for months," said the boy's mother, Brandi Ervin. "It was only to teach my son a lesson. He's been going through life doing things ... and getting away with it." Police did not release the boy's name.
The mother said that her son was found in the last year to have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder but that his medicine does not seem to help.
She said he faces an expulsion hearing at his school Wednesday. Rock Hill Police Capt. Mark Bollinger said the boy took a swing at a police officer assigned to the school last month. He has been suspended from school since then.
The boy's case will be presented to Department of Juvenile Justice officials in York County, who will decide what happens to him, Bollinger said. His mother hopes he can attend a program that will finally scare him straight.
"It's not even about the Christmas present," she said. "I only want positive things out of it. ... There's no need for him to act this way. I'd rather call myself than someone else call for him doing something worse than this."

I'm sure people will say what this mother did was uncalled for and wrong but I bet her son won't be out on the streets stealing from anybody else!

Experience is the name everyone gives to their Mistakes

That's a quote that I read today by Oscar Wilde. I read it and automatically thought, yes, that is so true! When you really think about it we go through these "seemingly" random experiences in life and we only remember the times when something adverse or negative happened. For some strange reason the mistakes that we make in life are viewed as experience. Why is it that as people we don't learn from the experiences of others as to avoid the mistake ourselves? Just my own thought for the day.

Tyler Perry Does It Again

I know if you haven't seen the Madea plays or movies that you have at least heard of her and the man responsible for making us all laugh while he portrays Madea for us; Mr. Tyler Perry. Well he has a new movie coming out on Valentine's Day called Daddy's Little Girls. Please go check out the trailer for the movie: http://www.daddyslittlegirlsmovie.com/

Tyler Perry just keeps bring good solid black film to light. Keep doing whatcha do Tyler!

Something I Am Passionate About

Actually there are 2 things that I am very passionate about: kids going to college and homeownership. And really as I write this I have realized that these two things kinda go hand in hand. Not that you have to had gone to college to own your own home but I think it's the knowledge of knowing "how" to do something that I think are the same. Okay so I guess really what I'm passionate about is knowledge. I've heard it before and I'm sure you have too "Knowledge is power" and I truly believe that. If knowledge wasn't power why would the slave masters kill their slaves for learning, why are schools in poor (black) areas lacking in real education, why is it so hard for minorities to get into college, and why don't more minorities know the process of owning their own home? Well the "why" can be answered very simply: because those in power don't want us to know and because we actually have to get up and fight to get the knowledge, we quit before we get the information we needed.

The following are quotes from an article I read online today:
"Decades after the civil rights movement, racial disparities in income, education and home ownership persist and, by some measurements, are growing."
"White households had incomes that were two-thirds higher than blacks and 40 percent higher than Hispanics last year"
"Home ownership grew among white middle-class families after World War II when access to credit and government programs made buying houses affordable. Black families were largely left out because of discrimination, and the effects are still being felt today"
"Home ownership creates wealth, which enables families to live in good neighborhoods with good schools."
"Income should not be a significant determining factor whether someone should have an opportunity to go to college"

These are the parts of the article that struck a major cord with me. I think I'll be posting on this subject a couple more times because it is so important and because I don't just want to post thoughts on these 2 subject but I want to give some "this is HOW you do it" answers.

Dedication & Obedience

Did you know that it took Noah 120 years to complete the ark? Oh, and did you know that it had never, ever rained in Noah's whole life. So if you think about it Noah heard God's voice tell him to build an big boat because He was going to make it rain for a long time. Not only did Noah live far from where he could even see a boat to have an idea of what to build but he had never even heard of rain. But Noah did what he was told to do anyway. He kept working on the ark to God's specifications no matter what (as I'm sure they did) other people said. Noah had no idea what this rain stuff was going to look like or what damage it was going to do but he listened to God although he couldn't understand God's big picture. What a great lesson for all of us to learn. Listen to God's voice and act upon it joyfully and unwaveringly. Why, because He said so.

You might like this too

Our daughter loves Dora the Explorer now. She doesn't really have much use for television unless Dora or some other singing cartoon is on. We recently bought one of these in the car dvd players and it is such a great product that I had to let other folks know about it. So here it is:
It comes with wireless headphones and is great. It comes with a headrest mount that makes the dvd player look likes it's installed in your car. This thing is great, and my daughter loves it. She tries to turn it on as soon as we get in the car! Oh and price wise it runs around 250 at www.crutchfield.com. They offer free shipping and they ship super fast. I ordered mine and it came the next day!

Imagine This

You have a child who plays on a sport team and they play this one particular team every season. This team is full of dirty players and everything the two teams face each other the "dirty" team cheats and always wins because of this. Your child usually leaves the game feeling very disappointed and has decided that it's not even worth the time or effort to play them any more and figures that it's easier to quit since the other team is just going to win anyway.


This scenario is very similar to how a lot of people (especially black people) feel about voting. You wouldn't tell you child to be a quitter now would you? No, I'm sure most of you would say "Baby, if you play the game with integrity and do the things that you are supposed to do then you will win one day. Cheaters never really win." I believe this same truth with voting. Please get out there tomorrow and exercise your RIGHT to vote. Voting is an important right that a lot of us have that we take for granted. If you don't vote then you can't complain about the education your children are receiving, the minimum wage rate, or any other thing that our Senators, Congressman, and President handle for us! Get out there tomorrow, November 7th, and Vote!

God and His Big Picture

I know I haven't posted on my conversation with Oprah yet but I have to make this post first. I actually spoke on the phone with Ms. Oprah Winfrey yesterday. Yes, I know it was a once in a lifetime type of blessing and I wanted so much just to enjoy the moment. While I was on hold listening to her opening monolgue I prepared some notes for all the things that I wanted to get out and say to her. I wanted to thank her for doing that wonderful "Legends Ball" because I think thanking those who came before us is such an important thing as well as reaching back to pull someone up to your level and even push them further; I wanted to tell her that in my short 28 years that I have learned that nothing happens by accident even me talking to her. I had all these things that I thought would make me sound smart and interesting and that would carry the conversation.

But right before I spoke to her (I was the 2nd caller of the day) I got on my knees and prayed to God: I asked Him to speak through me to help me give Ms. Winfrey a message that she might need to hear that day, I also asked that I not be nervous so that I could just enjoy listening to her live voice speaking to me. Then I thanked Him and sat back in my seat.

When I finally spoke to her I didn't say any of those things on that paper and truthfully I can't remeber a lot of what I said to her. I need to listen to the broadcast of our conversation to hear exactly what I said. After I got off the phone, I felt like I had blown a wonderful opportunity. I really didn't want to call anyone and tell them about the great conversation I had with her because I really didn't fell that it went that well since I didn't get to say all those things that I thought I should have said. I was really down when I went home and after I expressed to my husband how upset I was, I prayed again in the shower to God. This time I asked him to let the negative feeling I had to go away, that if I had said what He wanted me to say that somehow He could let me know. I asked that if He really spoke through me that I would feel better and that sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach go away. I even prayed that He take the conflicting thoughts I had and let me know that I did please Him with what was said. I still went to sleep trying hard not to think about all those other things I should've said.

At 5:50 this morning my husbands clock went off and woke me up, then at 5:55 I could hear my daughter talking in her room so I knew that she was awake too. After bringing her into our room and getting back in the bed I turned on the radio and figured I would listen to the Steve Harvey morning show, who opens his show every morning with a prayer and devotion to God. This morning Mr. Harvey spoke about how we as people try to map out everything including our lives but it's not even possible for us to do so because we don't even know where we are going. He said "God knows your Big Picture" and asked how can we map out a route to a place that we don't even know that we are headed to. Steve said that when you pray for something and God gives it to you, you can't keep thinking about how you could have done it differently! I was crying in my bed at this point and then Steve said that he had written something else to talk about this morning and hadn't even planned to talk about this subject but that God was speaking through him. And He was! He was talking to me this morning.

Lord, I thank you for answering my prayers. I thank you for the miricles that you have placed in my life and allowed me to experience. Thank you for speaking directly to me this morning and for the kisses from Sydney. I know that was you! Thank you.

Yes, I sure did talk to Gayle King Again

I can only say that I am blessed and that although I have no idea for these wonderful blessings I just thank the Lord. Now I'm sure some may read this and say why is she thanking God just to have talked to Gayle King? Well it was something that I never even thought possible that has been made possible all due to an email that I really only sent just to say that I loved her show. I guess that email really paid off huh? Well on Monday around 10:03(actually that's the exact time, I know because it's on my cell phone!) I got a call from Megan, who is one of the producers on Gayle's show. She told me that they didn't have enough callers for the show that day and asked if I would like to participate again! I almost fell down walking. Of course I wanted to speak to Gayle again. So Meagan told me to expect a call around 10:30 to be on the show.

But I must digress just a little to tell you why I almost fell in the floor when I got this call; well that would be because at 9:16 I got a call from a producer from Ms. Oprah Winfrey's (not that I needed to put her first and last name!)XM show to ask if I would like to talk to her! That's just a little teaser for you to come back and read the post on that!

So I got a call from Gayle's producer, Mark, at 10:49 and he told me that they really liked me and that I was their super caller. I'm like okay you probably say this to everyone, and he was like "no, no one else has called in twice" So I'm just feeling even most blessed and exstatic at this point. I vowed to myself this time that I would not be as nervous as I was the first time. So this time Gayle talked about going to parents weekend at her son's college. So when it was my turn I just asked her if she stayed on campus with him or if she got a hotel, to which she replied heck no girl, I got a hotel. Also I asked her how her son was doing because last week she talked about him having a problem with his arm tingling and feeling numb. She said he was still expriencing the same problem but that they had gotten his blood work done but did not have the results back yet. She thanked me for asking and that was our 2nd conversation. I think I'm ready to have Gayle over for dinner now!

My Conversation with Gayle

Okay so here's part two: I got the call and I was put on hold to speak with Gayle and I'm trying to breathe deeply to control my nerves. I was told that I would be on hold and that I would be able to hear Gayle's opening monologue and then the caller portion would come on. Gayle of course was hilarious without even trying; she talked about Paul McCartney's unfortunate situation with his upcoming divorce and a new energy drink called Enviga by Coca-Cola.
The portion about the Enviga drink was so funny because I had already heard her talking about this drink before and she had talked about how someone described the drink as something that had been strained through a shoe. Even still Gayle tried all three flavors of the drink on air. I can only tell you that the whole scene was too funny. So after the opening monologue, one of the producers come on and ask me what question I have for gale and then I am informed that I will be the first caller. The next voice I heard was from Ms. Gayle King herself in a cheerful tone say "Hello Nicole". I told her that I loved the show and that I heard that she called her daughter "Kirby Cakes" and that I called my daughter Kakes. She sang a song on air that she used to sing to her daughter. We also talked about the Enviga drink which was funny and then my question: If someone were to read the story of your life what would be the most interesting chapter? Gayle's answer was that anything that had to do with her children would be the most interesting part of her life. She said that her business was quite fickle and that she knew what was real and that is her children. And then we said goodbye.

I listened to Gayle's show as I do everyday and lo and behold I heard myself on the radio that following Tuesday. The conversation had been cut a little but I was just blessed that I got the opportunity to speak to her at all. And guess what???

I've talked to her again!! I can't even believe how blessed I am and neither will you after my next 2 posts! So my next post will be about how I got to talk to Ms. Gayle King for the second time... Keep watching out for it.

Are They For Real!!??

During my conversation with Gayle King, she told me that there is a energy drink called "Cocaine" that is being marketing towards kids. I had not heard of this so called energy drink but today I read the following article:

"Convenience-store operator 7-Eleven Inc. is telling franchises to pull a high-caffeine drink from its shelves because of the product's name: The company acted after getting complaints from parents of teens, who are a big part of the drunk's target audience. Cocaine comes in red cans , with the name spelled out in what are meant to resemble lines of white powder. According to the label, each 8.4-fluid ounce can contains 280 milligrams of caffeine -- more jolt than a cup of coffee, a can of Coca-Cola or the leading energy drink, Red Bull -- but no cocaine. The drink is made by Redux Beverages of Las Vegas, which markets it as "The legal alternative." "We knew the name was going to be provocative," said Hannah Kirby , the company's managing partner, whose husband, James, created the drink. Kirby said the company wasn't glorifying an illegal drug in the eyes of its young consumers. "Kids understand the difference between a controlled substance and an energy drink," she said."

Are they for real? What's next Diet Crack, Liquid Mary Jane?? How crazy is it that people are allowed to do stupid things like this. Kudos to 7-11 for taking this ridiculous drink out of their stores. This just goes to show that people will do just about anything to make money without consciously thinking about others. All money isn't good money.

On The Radio With Gayle King!!

Okay folks here goes my run down on how I got to be on the Gayle King show on channel 156 XM radio! I have to admit that once I heard about the Oprah & Friends station on XM radio I was tempted to go out and get a subscription but I am so against paying for the radio that I just couldn't bring myself to do so, so lucky for me I have a great friend who already has XM radio and gave me her information to listen online. So I have been listening to the Oprah & Friends station since it's inception. My favorite show by far is the Gayle King show. For all you folks who don't know who Gayle is just from her name; Gayle is Oprah's best friend and here is a picture of her:

Okay so Gayle's show is her just talking about current events, hot topics, and just regular things that you probably talk about at work with your coworkers or with your friends, which is why I love the show. So since I love the show sooo much I decided just to send in a quick email to Gayle just to say that I listened to the show everyday and to make the comment that she and I have the same nickname for our daughters; Cakes. She calls her daughter KirbyCakes! So a couple of days after I sent in the email, I received a call from one of the producers from her show asking me if I would like to be a caller on her show! Hello! Of course I would. So I was so excited waiting for the show to call me back and when they finally did I almost jumped out of my skin. But to my disappointment I was told that Gayle was running a little late and that they would have to call me back. I said okay and just waited for them to call me back, which they did 2 more times but due to the heavy rains in New York Gayle was still running late each of the times they called me back. Around 4pm I realized that either they had tried to call me back and I missed the call or they weren't going to call me back again. I listened to the show the next day to hear Gayle telling the story of why she was late and listened to the callers who got the opportunity to speak with her fuming because I wasn't one of those callers.

So I decided to send another email to Gayle, just to tell her that although I didn't send the first email to speak to her now that I had been presented with the opportunity to do so, I had to talk to her! Well, I got another call from her producer asking me again if I still wanted to speak with Gayle but alas due to some scheduling problems on that day I didn't get to talk to Gayle again but I was told I would receive a call the next day. Since they promised me that I would receive a call on Friday morning around 10:30, I sat anxiously at my desk checking to make sure that my cell phone had service because sometimes I have a strange abyss like dead spot that causes me not to receive the incoming call but I get the voicemail. Around 11:15 I stood up to stretch my legs and heard what I knew was my missed call from the Gayle King show "you've got voicemail". I wanted to scream but since I was at work I just ran to one of our empty back offices and listened to the voicemail as my stomach sank into my shoes. "Hi, this is the Gayle King show sorry we missed you, we'll try to call you back" but I knew they wouldn't. I was getting desperate and my mind was racing on how to call them back, then I remembered that I still had the studio number stored in my phone from the numerous calls two days before, so I decided to try to call that number back. I didn't have anything to loose, so I hit redial on my phone and was greeted by "Hello, this is the Gayle King Show". Again I wanted to scream but this time I just said my name and that I was just called to be a caller on the show. The gentleman said he was so glad I called back and asked me to hold on to speak to Gayle. And on Friday, October 20 I spoke to Gayle King!!!

I'll post again and tell all about the conversation.

I Like It Alot!

Okay, so I will be posting a little later (when I have more time) about my phone conversation with Ms. Gayle King! It was very exciting and I'm so glad I was able to speak to her!
I just wanted to tell you all about my favorite lip balm "Burt's Bees". It's much better than Chapstick in my opinion and it has a great menthol tingle for your lips! Anyway I was first given some Burt's Bee's from one of my coworker who owned a nicnac store and sold the product line. She came into work one day and handed out free samples of the lip balm to a few people in the office of which I happened to be one of those lucky few. At the time I jokingly told her she was like a drug dealer giving everyone the first sample for free but if I had only known how true those words were! :0) This lip balm is quite addicting so be careful if you go out and buy some.

Here's what it looks like: I'll tell ya, if you have dry or cracked lips this is the best stuff to use. Come on you know you want to try it, come and join me in my addiction to Burt's Bee's!

Aaaah, I was just on with Gayle

Okay anyone out there who has XM radio please listen to the Gayle King show tonight at 8 on channel 156 Oprah & Friends. I will be on speaking with Gayle after her opening commentary and the first break. I am actually the first caller to speak with Gayle! I will have to make another post to tell the whole story about how I finally got the chance to talk one the phone with Ms. Gayle King!

Strange, aren't we

I was thinking the other day about how some married people complain about being married; you know the men making comments about the ole ball and chain and women saying how horrible their husbands are and how they never help around the house. I thought about how funny marriage is because no one forces us into it. Actually men come to their girlfriend bearing gifts and asking to get married. So they ask to be chained and then they complain about it. The same with women; they knew their boyfriend had all bad habits before they got married but they did it anyway. It's the same, I think with having children. If someone told you that you wouldn't sleep, that you would have to wash more clothes, wash more dishes, spend more money and not on yourself, I'm sure that you would take a pass. But if someone told you that all those things come along with an unexplainable joy that will make your heart grow 5 sizes, I'm sure you would reconsider. We elect to make the changes in our lives I believe because that is how God has created us. Although marriage is a challenge and having children is wonderful and stressful all at the same time, I think we have to have these things prewired in us to want them otherwise everyone would stay free and single!

More Philosophy

Okay so here's part two of my humans are born to be innately good post which will answer the question: If we are supposed to be so good why is there so much bad or evil in the world? Well here's my answer. I think that all of us know when we are about to or are doing something wrong. Sometimes we choose to stop and others times we continue on even though we know that we shouldn't. They key word here is choose. The choice that God gives us shows just how much He really loves us. He allows us to make the choice to kill, rape, molest, and steal among other horrible things and still He chooses to love us! Giving us choice in our own lives is the most ultimate love that God could give us. He hopes like any parent does, that we will do the right things, the good things that we KNOW in our hearts we really should do, but He loves us in spite of the horrible decisions we make at times. So bad things happen sometimes because we choose for them to happen.
Then I think there are those people who have chosen so many times to do the wrong thing, the evil thing that now that person becomes that evil and wrong thing. In "Letters from a Skeptic" the author describes it like a snowball that keeps rolling gaining more and more momentum until it can no longer stop on it's own until it crashes into something big enough to maybe slow it down. I think we as people are like this as well. The more lies you tell the more you eventually have to tell to the point where you may even start to believe your own lies. I do believe in evil just as much as I believe in good, so I know that if goodness can exude from a person so can evil. I do believe that some people are pure evil, but not because they were born that way, but because of the choices that they made along the way!

What's So Different

I made a post a while back about interracial dating and within that post I made the comment that in nature with animals there is no intermixing and therefore we as humans should follow suit. Well I recently had a talk with a good friend of mine who pointed something out to me that I hadn't really thought of or taken into consideration when I made that statement. Let me start out by saying I have a completely different view now on interracial dating all together and I will also say that my comments where wrong! Although what I am about to say may or may not change your opinion, I can truly say that I've been taken out of the Matrix on this one.
So here goes my new view point: as the human race we are all the same species. Our only real differences are from regional origins, which is pretty much why we all look different. So in Africa people needed a skin tone that would allow for heat tolerance, bodies that would allow for hard work in the sun; and so you have black people of a darker sking tone. People in Alaska have flatter faces, skinny squinty eyes, and fingers with more blood vessel that allow the native people to be outside in freezing temperature without getting frost bite. Okay so I say all of that to say this; we really are all the same with just a few slight changes because of where God originally put us on this planet. So looking at my example of how animals stick within their species which is true, but specifically looking at dogs and how they mix within their own to make new breeds kind of sheds a new light on my thoughts. So a German Shepard may mate with a great Dane to create a new type of dog but it's still a dog. And to even prove that intermixing is a good thing, mixed breeds (of all kinds and species; dogs or humans) usually live longer because during the mixing of the two dogs the new product takes the best of both sides. This is the same with humans which I believe is why we live longer lives now.
We are all humans with no real differences that those that have been specifically pointed out to us. Really when you look at why racism is such a problem it is because of those who have (rich) trying to separate themselves from those who have not (poor). Race really isn't the big problem that we have all been made to believe but it's really about control and another way to divide us from becoming one as a people.

What Do You Think??

I have a new theory or actually I guess I've learned something new that I know to be true. My new theory is that we as humans are supposed to be good. I think we are all born inatly good, or in other words we are born with with a goodness programmed into our systems. I know this to be true now because as I think about it we all know and feel bad about doing bad things. We all have the ill feeling when we are headed in a direction that is negative. If you think about it, why are we all repulsed and sadend when people are killed? Do we feel that murder is bad just because you could possibly go to jail for doing so? No! We all know in our souls that killing is not a good thing to do. We all are born good and we learn bad things. You may ask, well Nicole, if we are all born good with the knowledge and understanding of what is bad, then why do people do bad things?

Well I've got an answer for that but I'll post that tomorrow!

See ya tomorrow

I know I haven't posted since Thursday..I think. I will definatly be posting tomorrow. I've got a few questions to ask and few of my thoughts to share. So I'll see ya tomorrow.

What would you do (part 2)

Another question that I heard on the radio: What high powered position would you like to have if you could do any job for just a week? Again I thought another interesting question. I'll tell ya, I'd like to have Oprah's job for a week. To see the inner workings and the background of what it takes to make a television show become what we see as an hour show. I'd like to see how much work she actually does during one week. Is she completely swamped all day long in meetings and making decisions or does she have numerous people under her who help her make decision and then she just signs off? Also Oprah has a magazine that she owns but that she is also involved heavily in. Where does she get all the time to do everything? I think a week would be exhausting but also pretty great because as we all know as the Billion Dollar woman Oprah can also pay to relax in great ways!

What would you do

I was listening to the radio this morning and interesting topic was brought up: If you knew what you know now, would you marry your spouse all over again? I thought this was very though provoking because people always like to look back on situations and I wish I could change this or that. I can actually say in a split second that with all the ups and downs that I would marry my husband all over again. What about you? If you had all of the current knowledge of the person you are with right now would you still make the decision?

The Right Way

Have you ever been at a crossroads in your life? You know where you had to make a decision of going left or right, saying yes or no, leaving or staying, or even finding a new job or staying with your current one. At these times it becomes so hard to know which decision to make or which will have the best outcome for you. Many of us battle within ourselves to make the easy choice, the choice that will cause us the least amount of discomfort. Someone once told me "to make a difference is to inconvenience yourself." And truly I know most of the time we chose not to fight or inconvenience ourselves. God give us all free will and through that free will we make decisions that shape our lives. The hard thing about free will is that you never know if you've chosen the right way. In times of tribulation I find it's best to sit back and be quiet for a while and try to allow God's voice lead you the right way. He knows better than all and he is the creator of your big picture.

Education

Knowledge is power. This is something that slavemasters knew oh so well. Most slaves were forbidden to learn the alphabet or to learn to read or write. If a slave was found with a book they actually could be killed. Can you imagine that? I love to read and collect books but I could have been killed for that passion if I was a slave. Something so small to us now was something that our ancestors fought and died for. The slavemasters knew that if slaves were taught to read and write that they would be very dangerous because then questions would arise. Questions that the slavemasters did not want to hear nor did they want to answer. Keeping the slaves ignorant was an intricate part of keeping the slaves content in the bleak existence.
In my opinion this same mentality is still very much alive today. A friend of mine asked me the following "Hey Nikki I got a question for you. What does an education do for you? I was asked this question by a member of my church. He is our age, without a GED or any will to get one. He feels that his life if lead by God. And he will be taken care of through miracles from God. I have to say that this thought process really challenged me." I know that God is leading my life and that through prayer all things in my life can be changed but I also know that God doesn't want to see me just sit and do nothing while I wait to see him move. How unrealistic is it for someone to think that God will come and change everything for you when you aren't even willing to make the first step? If you were stuck in a dark room and you sat still and prayed to God to help you out of your dark situation and God said to you turn on the light, but instead of moving around trying to feel your way to a light switch, you just sat there still waiting for God to give you some light. God gave us a brain and the ability to learn as a gift and if not used God will take back his gifts! Education is the ultimate equalizer, it is something that no one can ever take away from you. So Billy, my answer for the member of your church is this: God blesses those who are willing to be obedient and move when he says so. Being ignorant by choice is turning his back on the gifts that God has given him; the same gifts that slaves died to further. Knowledge is true power and it sounds like the member of your church is choosing to be powerless. I'ma pray for that brother!

A Break

I think everyone should be able to take a break. You know when you are so tired that you just don't want to do anything. When you feel like that and you can't take a vacation, or take a break from what you are doing then it really make you feel bitter. As people we need to take time to refuel. You're break or vacation could be going into a room in your house alone away from everyone listening to music or flying to lay on the beach in Hawaii. I haven't made it to Hawaii yet but I hope to one day.

Half Full or Half Empty

Are you the type of person that when things are going good and your life seems great that then you can tell others how blessed your are and the wonders of God, but when trials enter in you find it much harder to keep praising him? I'm listening to Byron Cage "I will Bless the Lord" right now, and it's my third time in a row of hearing it. A lot of us find it easy to sing and bless the Lord when things are good in our lives, but this song that I'm listening to right now says that I will bless the Lord at ALL times, even when I'm lost and my strength seems gone. If we could all look at our stormy times as lessons from God instead of some kind of punishment, then I know we would all be able to reach the potential that God really has set for us. The only thing that holds us back from being great, is us. Our own minds keep us trapped. Bless the Lord at all times because He has done great things for you. Remember the times that you fell down, remember when you got a speeding ticket, remember when something you tried at something that didn't work out as planned. That speeding ticket could have kept you out of a fatal accident, when you fell down God just let you know how strong you really were when you were able to get back up, and always remember that when you've failed at something once you now have secret to make it work when you go back to try again. How do you view your big picture; is it half full or empty.

Modern Day Miracles

When I think of miracles I think of Jesus turning water into wine, healing the blind, and feeding thousands with one loaf of bread and a few fish. Most of us are still looking for those types of miracles to occur now to help insure our faith but when we really experience miracles today we brush them off as something ordinary. I know I witness a miracle today. My 6 year old nephew was hit by a car today, flown by helicopter to a hospital and when I went to go visit him in the emergency room he didn't have any broken bones or bruises. There are people hit by cars going only 5 or 10 miles an hour who suffer major damage to their bodies. I will not ignore the wonders of the Lord working. I know people choose to overlook the great things that God does everyday but I am choosing not to be one of them. Have you experienced or seen a miracle lately? Even the little things: have you found $1 in your pocket when you really needed one, ever had someone hold a door for you when you had your hands full? Tell me about your miracles, because they happen everyday but sometimes we are just too busy to notice or we just write them off as something ordinary. God is anything but ordinary.

God's Gifts

When ever we receive a blessing whether it's a new car, a new job, a raise, or even a child it's a gift from God. That gift is given to us to enjoy for the as long as God allows us to. The hard thing to deal with is when seemingly out of nowhere, God takes away your blessing. You lost that new job, you had an accident with that brand new car of yours, or even when He takes away your child. How do we as humans deal with the strong emotions that come along with loss? Many times we are so grief stricken that we blame God or even seek out answers to why something so horrible has happened to us. Often we ask Why? Why me?; why take this from me? I don't really consolable answers to those question but I do have the answer that I believe most Christians would give: Why not you? God never makes mistakes. I know neither of those answers help ease the physical ache in your heart that you can feel when you incur a loss but isn't that what faith is all about. Being able to praise God even when.... even when bad things are happening, even when things aren't going your way, even when...
I'd like to ask everyone who reads this entry to please pray for my friend Joan Frank who has just lost her 9 yr daughter, Jeanna. I have no idea what that kind of loss feels like but I know that I would want someone to pray my strength in a time such as hers. Please pray with me.

Never Satisfied

On my ride into work this morning, I listened to the Steve Harvey Morning show. During his first half hour Steve always starts the show off with a prayer and an inspirational thought for the day before he (as he puts it) gets completely ignorant. Today he said something that really made me think. He started off by giving thanks to God for waking him up this morning and promising that he would try to fulfill some purpose for the day. He said God doesn't just wake us up to go through our days thinking just let me make it through, but He really wants us to try to find some purpose for the day. Then Steve went real deep on me and said: to move ahead and allow God to allow bigger and better blessing to occur in your life you must first be pleased and satisfied with the ones that he has already supplied you with. Meaning if you want a bigger house, first be happy and pleased with the fact that you already have a roof over your head that God has already provided for you. Why would God want to bless you further if you can't even thank Him for the blessing he already gave you? Steve's example was that of a boat. He said if he had a little boat and was never grateful for it but he wanted a bigger boat why would anyone want to bless him if they always heard him talking bad about the boat he already had. God wants to bless us beyond our own beliefs but we must first have faith that He can and will do that for us and then we also need to be thankful for the blessing we already have while we wait for other blessings. Sometimes we need to be satisfied with what we have. That's not to say you don't strive for more but appreciate what you have because you didn't have to get it. Remember God already knows what your big picture looks like but if you can't realize the beauty of what you can already see why would He give you something even more beautiful to look at?

Vote Or Die!

That's Puffy's slogan not mine but I like it! I meant to post this early so that I could say "Hey get out there and vote" but since it's a little late for that I guess this post is just "Hey, I hope you got out there and voted!" I did! And if you didn't then don't complain when schools are over crowded and your kids have books from 1881! If you aren't part of the solution then you are part of the problem.

Giving Advice

Have you ever given a friend advice only to have them get mad at what you've told them. Of course you are left puzzled because this friend of yours came to you for your own personal thoughts on their situation and then decided to get mad at what you told them. I guess for some people it's much easier to shoot, stab, and kill the messenger than to actually take to heart the comments that they made. Also it's strange to me the folks who come to you and ask for advice and then they decide to just keep on doing what they were doing anyway. I look at it like this: if you needed to talk to someone about a situation or problem in your life it usually means that you know you are doing something wrong and since you don't want to listen to your own voice of reason you need to hear someone else's. So why do some folks ask for advice and then act like they never even heard you? I read once (and it's something that I thought was quite profound) "when you don't have the information you aren't responsible, but the minute you get the information on what you need to do, then you are responsible and if you don't do anything you can't blame anyone but yourself". Great quote, I think. If you asked for someone's advice, it must mean you trust them, so trust enough that they wouldn't steer you wrong. Don't waste time asking for advice you don't want nor going to take. This isn't anything that I'm going through right now just something I was thinking about.

Giving Back

It's a wonderful thing when you have reached a certain point in your life when you can look at where you've come from and reach back to help some one else blaze their own trail. I know I've always felt that once I got to point-a of my journey that I needed to stop and remember that other people needed help to find the directions to point-a. I still strongly believe that we all need to give back; that it's not something we should pay lip service to but something we should put into action. I truly believe that it's my duty to help all young black kids get into college, tell all black folks that owning their own home is possible, and that being debt free is just a budget (and a lot of hard work) away. Once God give you a gift, why wouldn't you want to share it with as many people as possible?

Counseling

Why do black folks have a problem with going to get counseling? Actually I think I can answer that one myself. Most people don't like to discuss their feelings. As an adult looking back over your life, I'm sure you can pin point several different scenes in your life that have made up the big picture that encompass the person that you are now; some good, some bad. Also looking back on your childhood I'm sure you can remeber certain lessons that you learned from your parents that have shaped your who you are today. Now what I'm sure you can't see (although some of us can) are how those lessons made you have certain issues. A son watching his dad beat on his mother may have taught a young man how to treat a woman or how not to treat a woman. Or a young girl who's father was never around may always seek the comfort of a man (whether a good or bad man) or she may take that hatred out on every man she encounters. I could go on and on with scenarios like this but I think you can get the picture. My point is that under all of those outer issues are deep seeded issues that many of us are so afraid to really take a look at, that we would rather act like nothing is wrong or that it must be everyone else. Speaking to a counselors doesn't really bring up issues that you don't know you have; oh you already know about them, but the counselors is there to help you find the light in that dark closet where you've hidden all those bad scenes and lessons that you learned as a child. God puts everything in out lives for a reason; the good and the bad. All of those life lessons that you have learn have helped you become the person that you are, the counseling could help you understand why you are the person that you are. Everyone needs to understand the person that they are to move forward to become the person that God wants you to be. You can't see God's big picture for you if you still have your eyes closed.

Knowing God's Voice

How do you know when God speaks to you? I mean how do you distinguish between hearing your own flesh, the crafty voice of the devil (who sometimes in confusion sounds like God), and really hearing God? I have had times when I realized that I was at a crossroads and making the right decision was very important. I think at these times, the battle of good and evil are at the highest levels so much so that you can actually see it. You know when you look at someone and they seem so lost, worried and utterly confused about which way to turn; that you can see the war of self, God, and the devil at work. At these times there is usually someone around to say to you "Just pray and listen to the voice of God". The problem with listening is that the voice that you hear and may think is God may not be. There are people out there who kill their children and say God told them to deliver them. I know in the bible that God has asked for children to be slain just to see how obedient someone would be but I don't recall any bible stories where God actually had it done. (I could be wrong because I don't know the whole bible by heart :0) So how do you really know when it's God? For a person who is so confused in a decision and who is listening all the voices in their head; how do you explain to them how to distinguish between God's voice, their own, and that of satan? I need some help with this one because I know God's voice for myself but I can't explain it to someone else.

Growing Up

I have a question for everyone: Why is it that some of us look at growing up as a bad thing? Not growing up as in getting older because of course all of us have to do that with out choice but I mean the actual process of getting wiser, learning from our mistakes, accepting advice from others, admitting when you are wrong or have made a mistake, and just realizing that maybe you don't know everything. Here's what I think: I think that some people are so afraid of change that they would just rather stay stagnant instead of following God's path. Many people are afraid to change because they know that once they show signs of growth then they won't be able to relate to the people around them and the people around them just might notice the change and not see it as a positive thing. So what do you think; why is it so hard for some folks to grow up?

The Da Vinci Code

I'm not sure how many of you have read this book or even seen the movie but my post yesterday got me thinking about this post. So I'll give you some brief points from the book just in case you haven't had the pleasure of reading it: it's basically a murder mystery story which develops around a group that sole purpose is to protect the decedent of Jesus. It also takes a look at the portrait of the Last Supper and says that one of the disciples in the picture is actually Mary Magdalene and that she was actually Jesus' wife. Now believe me I'm the first one to not read something or listen to someone who is telling me something negative about Christ that I should not believe. This book was strickly for entertainment purposes but it did raise some questions. Who says Jesus never got married? Who's to say Jesus never had children? What if someone took things out of the bible because it made certain people look bad or made women look like they should have had more power. Am I wrong for asking these kinds of questions, I don't think so but please tell me if I am wrong. I think scientist have such a hard time with religion because most of it is faith based and if you can't prove something they can't believe it. Well I do have faith enough to believe in things I can't see. I can breathe but I can't see the air, so why wouldn't I believe in Jesus? But in believing in Jesus does that mean I can't seek a further truth, that I can't ask questions?

Why Not??

Today I had a conversation with one of my coworkers about Christianity. This guy used to be a Catholic but no longer considers himself so because he just can't make himself believe that one man (the Pope) is without fallacy. I agree with him, the bible tells us that all men have faults. He said he considers himself a Christian now but he still has questions and concerns. First he said he finds it concerning that so called "right winged Christians" have quite strong beliefs and feel as though you shouldn't have any questions of God. He said he thought God would answer any question he had and would still love him even if the question was in reference to God. I told him I thought so too. He also had a problem with mega churches that are conducting themselves more and more like the Catholic church ie more like a business. Most of all he was concerned with the messages that some churches are putting out there. I agreed with him on a lot of his points and I told him that there was nothing wrong with asking God questions. My coworker said he felt like if he had a strong personal connection with God then everything would be okay. I told him that I though he was right and that it is very important to have that personal relationship with God. He also gave me the name of a book about Christianity that he just started reading the book is called "Letters from a Skeptic" by Gregory Boyd. I'm going to buy the book and read it myself because it sounded very interesting. It's basically letters from Gregory's father on why he should believe in God; why he should be a Christian. Here's a link if you are more interested http://www.amazon.com/Letters-Skeptic-Wrestles-Questions-Christianity/dp/1564762440/sr=1-1/qid=1157072679/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-6503296-8365762?ie=UTF8&s=books. I just wanted to ask you why is it that when people ask questions of Christians then they don't believe in God? Why is it that when a movie or book like the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown comes out people peg it as being Anit-Christian. I've read the book and seen the movie and it's definitely not anti-Christian but it does ask some interesting questions about Jesus and Christianity itself. Why isn't it okay to ask questions?

Blank

Sorry folks, no enlightening post tonight. I had a busy day and nothing really struck me today to write about. I'm still listening so something may download while I'm in the shower but if not, I'll be back tomorrow!

Dreams

I had a really scary and troubling dream last night that woke me up out of my sleep. It was one of those dreams that I just couldn't shake once I had kind of woke up but in my half awake, half asleep state I could hear "you need to get up and pray for your family". I laid there like are you sure? I really didn't feel like getting up even though my heart was beating kind of fast from the dream and although I couldn't really go to sleep. I did get up and do what I was told but this morning the whole situation just go me to thinking: did that dream mean anything? Better yet do any of our dreams really have meaning or are they just our minds working overtime? What do you think? I'm not really sure if all of our dreams mean something. I know I've had some very vivid dreams before and I'm sure if I told them to certain people they would say "oh that dream means ...." Well I'm not 100% sure that our dreams mean anything or then again maybe in our sleeping state God can really get though to us and gives us lessons in dreams; kinda like watching tv and getting a message from it.

Post Marital counseling

Last night I had a discussion with two very good friends of mine about marriage counseling. In my opinion pre-marital counseling is a good thing; it kind of lets you know the rules of the game before you start to play, but it also leave a lot to be desired. I mean, before I got married we had at least 4 or 5 sessions with the Pastor who married us. I think I had to go to 3 of the with out my then fiance because he was out of the area but the 2 or 3 that we went to together really weren't all that enlightening. I think it was necessary but I don't really feel as though I or we learned much. Truthfully we needed counseling most 6 months into our marriage. I think post marital counseling should be just as mandatory as the pre-marital counseling. In my mind the perfect schedule would be a 6/12/18 month check-up. I think when two people have decided to get married they don't really think about foreverness (I know it's not a word!) of it but once you are married you begin to look at all the negative things about your partner and think "can I deal with that forever?" Just having someone to talk out all the problems that newlyweds tend to have, I think, would help curve the divorce rate. Here's a free idea for somebody out there with a psych degree or ministers and pastors: Post marital Counseling 6 months/12 months/18 months. Run with that!

Segregation

When you look around your neighborhood, what do you see? Is it pretty homogeneous? How about your friends? We all look at segregation like its a bad thing but aren't we just chosing segregation now? I know I live in a neighborhood with mostly all black people except for one neighbor. Of course forced segration the way it was, was horrible. But you know, if seprate but equal could have been a reality then I think I would be all for it. If we could actually seperate ourselves but still have all the luxuries that we all have now, I think it might actually be better for black people. Once we all got over the intial shock of all being together and we learned to help rather than hinder each other, I think we would be a much better people. What do you think.

Race Relations

How do you really feel about interracial dating? I mean if you really, really think about it what's your first reaction? Is it "My son/daughter bet not bring home no white girl/boy? Or if your white and reading this of course it's the opposite. You know, if I have to be honest I would say that I wouldn't want my daughter to date or marry a white person. Not because I don't like white people but because of the hardships that come along with that kind of marriage. When you get married you want to be able to come home and tell your spouse about how your day was. What if you were racially discriminated that day? Would your white husband or wife be able to relate to that? I don't think so. I'm not so much hung up on "oh, the white women are taking all of our good men" because I don't really feel like that nor do I feel like there aren't any good black men out there; they have to be: I found one! Shout out to Ricky! Anyway I just wanted to know what some of you feel out there. How would you feel if your child dated someone of another race? Let's be real honest about it too! You don't have to be politically correct with me. :0) Oh, and while we are talking about race I've got even more questions for you. Why are churches so segregated? If we are all Christians why can't we all go to church together? What if your black pastor had a white wife, how would you feel about it? I have more questions to but I'll save them for another post.

My 40 Days

A while back my pastor used Noah as a reference; he said that we all know the story of how God told Noah to build the ark and to collect 2 of every animal and how he was obedient and did so. But none of us really know the background information on how scared Noah must have been while enduring the 40 days & 40 nights of nothing but rain. God never told Noah how long the storm would be so he just had to keep his faith that everything would be okay but I'm sure Noah was just like some of us and thought that God may have forgotten about him. We really don't know what Noah's 40 days were like and we don't know anyone else's either. I try to always remember this when I look at someone else's situation from the outside. Usually when we look at someone else's situation, we always have lots of commentary on how they should handle their situation. Many of us are guilty of "Girl, I wouldn't put up with that mess" or "Boy, she's stupid" I always try to remember that not everyone feels like I do and those 40 days make a big difference for everyone. Some of us have had an easy 40 days and then others of us have had a hellish 40 days. The lessons we learn coming out of the 40 days & nights help make us the person that we are. Sometimes folks learn the lessons and take something positive from it others blame God for their bad times and never learn the lesson that He intended. Try to remember that you never really know someone's Big Picture, you can never experience their 40 days.

Getting Started

I was thinking about my post about "what is worth it" and I realized that maybe most people have good intentions and they really do want to make a difference but they don't know how. Then you have the people (such as myself) who want to point fingers in outrage and say "Hey why aren't we fixing all these problems!" but most people don't say hey this is how you start to fix the problem. I know that is one of the most frustrating things for me..wanting to help or to try to make a change and not really knowing how to start. So I'd like to start by saying that when I mention problems or things that have outraged me on my drive in or something I've heard on the news, I will be imploring to each and one of you to start to make a different, but I won't just be standing on my soap box screaming and yelling I plan on trying to find out the HOW to what ever the problem is and letting everyone know. How do we fix the public school systems so that we don't have to send our kid to private school unless we want to and not out of necessity? How do we encourage our children that their education doesn't stop at high school? How do we teach or children that rapping and sports aren't the only jobs that they can get? How do we teach our children that the visuals that they see on television of iced out watches and chains that cost more than some peoples homes, isn't real and most of those rapper rent their jewelry. I don't know yet but I promise to share the answers when I find out. We can all start together.

Knowing your surroundings

Okay so the flip side of a strong support system...As I wrote the post on the support system I began to think about those people who really and truly think they have a good support system but in reality their support is really trying to tear them down. Some of us have family and friends who we think have our backs through any situation but really the advice and seemingly words of wisdom they give us are out of envy, jealousy, and malice. The very people who we go to in situations of worry, intimidation, and fear are the same ones who say that they love us and are praying for us but still give advice that is self serving and out of anger and not love. Have you ever gone to someone for help only to receive ungodly advice? I have someone in my life; who while I was in a very taxing situation were I was faced with a very difficult decision of leaving a job after my husband and I had just bought a new house, tell me "well now you got this big ole house and now you can't pay for it". I was already in a very lost state (I had no idea of what decision I should make) and to hear something like that come from someone whom I love and is supposed to love me was very hurtful; mostly so because I know the comment came out of jealousy. I had to deal with the anger that the one comment made me feel but I have never forgotten it. It to me is a constant reminder to never go to that person in a real time of trial or anxiety. It is very important to know the people you have surrounding you...Some of those people have proven that they are worthy to be in your support system and others (and you have to know who they are) just don't always have your best interest at heart. It is important not to blame those people for not being able to be more giving but you have to know that everyone in life has their own trials that have made them the way they are. We never know what another persons 40 days have been like. But that's another blog.. :0)

A Stong Background

I was just thinking about how important it is to have a strong support system. To have people standing beside and behind you that always believe in you even when you don't believe in yourself. These people aren't always your family because God sometime sends people in your life to fill that void but it's great when you mother, father or wife or husband can be that support system for you. Having support from your parents early on give you the confidance to go out into the world and know that you can do anything you put your mind to because even if things don't work out exactly how you had planned them to, you still have someone to tell you "Baby, everything is going to be okay" and that they love you. I thank God that I have the support system that I do. I have a wonderful husband, a caring and loving mother, a truthful sister and numerous other people in my life to always tell me the truth in any situation and to help pick me up when ever I fall. Because of all these people I am able to take a step back an really look at how blessed I really am.
As I was writing this I thought about how the opposite side of this: not having a good support system. Or even when you don't realize that your support system really isn't that supportive. I guess I'll talk about that tomorrow because oh boy I've got a lot to say!

The Twenty Something Midlife Crisis

This post is my own venting and although it might not be relevant to anyone else, it's my blog so sorry but that's what it for. So last night I woke up at 3:30 with the following on my mind and I had to get this out. So what you are about to read is straight from last night. I am at a point in my life where it would be rather naive of me not to recognize that I need to update my resume and start looking for a new job. Don't get me wrong I have a good job now: the pay is good, I have a great boss that I have learned more from that if I had taken MBA courses, and I have flexibility that would be hard to find at another place. With all that being said the complexion of the company is changing and it is time for me to go and I am now taxed with the scary fact of; a new job but doing what? I have a degree in marketing...I feel like I did all the right things; I did well in high school, I went to college and got a degree. But I don't really have a skill. I'm not in computers; I'm not an accountant. I don't have a skill to put a finger on. Marketing is a knowledge base career that is very age discriminatory. You can't have a lot of knowledge in something unless you've experienced it and at twenty something I haven't had a lot. If I had gone to college for a skill based degree I wouldn't be here. An accountant can always find work because young or not numbers are always numbers. I read part of this book once that went into the new Mid-life crisis of the twenty something that includes myself. These are the folks I went to school with who are now faced with the question: Now What? Maybe the devil is trying to scare me into thinking I won't get another job or maybe God is just trying to wake me up to not be complacent where I am. It's God, He just told me to move. It's time to move on. Please tell me where to go, how do I do this? I don't even know where I am.

What is worth IT?

Why aren't we as a people more outraged by bad things that happen? Why is it that we can so easily forget things that have happen that did rouse us out of the complaitancy that is our day to day lives. For example: why aren't we more upset about the conditions of the people in New Orleans, why aren't Black people concerned with the fact that recently our government almost took away our right to vote, why aren't we outraged that our children aren't getting the promised education in the public school that we ALREADY pay for, and why aren't more people out voting to get the republicans (who want to keep minium wage below the poverty level) out of office? As I drove into work this morning I heard Rev. Al Sharpton speaking on how not much has changed in New Orleans, how people still don't have jobs and homes, and how no one even cares anymore. It really light a fire in my mind because this same thing happens all the time and it makes me wonder: What really is worth us fighting for?? Why don't people try to help others or better question why don't we even try to help ourselves. If you were in a sinking boat would you just sit in it and drown even if you didn't know how to swim or would you fight tooth and nail to try to keep your self alive? We all are drowning people! And most of us don't even have the sense to try to make it to shore. I think a lot of us decide that we might want to try to do something but because we don't know where to start we don't even try. Well again if you were in that boat and it sprang a leak and started sinking, would you wait until someone taught you how to fix boats or would you try everything you knew how to do to make the leak stop. We all are capable of great things if we just get up and START. The key is to just start.

The Simple Life

Today my daughter and I sat in the backyard on the patio. It was around 6:30 and the shade had come around to the back of the house so the weather felt just right. We sat down and just listened to the birds and the breeze blow through the leaves of the trees. I showed her two rocks and the sound that they made when you hit them together. She loved it, well until I took them away from her 5 minutes later because she also wanted to find out what they would taste like. As a one year old she is the most observant person I know. She hears and see every little thing, not only does she take notice of most things but she is truly interested in them. I sat there with her looking at the rocks trying to see what she found so interesting in them and I realized that it was simple; it was new to her, everything is new to her. When did seeing the sun rise, watching a bird fly, or looking up at the starry night sky become interesting? We all need to stop and take a look at all these wonderful things that are happening around us without notice because we have all become so busy. Take the time tomorrow to just sit outside and listen or take a walk and allow yourself to really feel the breeze blowing around you or even look out your window during the evening and see how many stars you can see. I think you'll find that everything that God has created is still very interesting but now we are all to busy to notice. Let's try to take the time to look at the picture that God has created for us. It is truly beautiful.

Being The Best You

As we go through our lives a lot of us aspire to be like other people. We see people like Oprah, Bill Cosby, even neighbors and friends say "oh man I wanna be like them". We say these things in passing never really knowing what that persons life is really like. We don't know what Oprah's life is like outside of what she allows us to see on television. We have no idea what our neighbors really live like once they walk in the house and close out the world. Instead of looking at other people and saying "oh I wish I had that" or "I wish I lived like that" focus on being yourself and try to be the best at it. God only made one of you and He took the time to make you special. If He wanted to make us all alike I'm sure he could have. The only thing you can really be the best at that no one else can, is being you. Focus your time and effort on figuring out what your emotional issues are; what's holding you back from having a great marriage or why can't you keep a job. Really focus in on yourself and not what other people have done. Once we can be honest and introspective with ourselves we can all start to grow within. That growth is completely necessary to see and understand the big picture for your life.

The Right Path

Have you ever been in a situation and everything just seemed to be right? You know those times when you feel so at ease and every move you make is perfect. I have those moments every now and then and I always know that I am on God's path during those times. There are actually times when I experience what I can only liken to dejavu, where I am in a place that I can actually see that I have been before. It's like I'm in an almost dreamlike state when the vision comes back to me of exactly what I am doing. It's always a scary, strange feeling but also sort of comforting. It lets me know that I am still on the right path. While I sat in church today and listened to the paster speak, I heard her give messages about how old music can take you back to a place of remeberance & remebering the history of our people and the path that they have paved for you and I thought of this blog. Hearing her confirm some of the messages that I have been pouring out into this blog is just another message from God to let me know that I am still on his path and that maybe, just maybe I'll be able to soon see my big picture. Take some time today to think of things that you enjoy, things that truly make you happy. That secret love of yours may just be a part of your big picture.

Do or Die

A couple of years ago Sean "Puffy" Combs started a voting initiative called "Vote or Die". The t-shirts that went with this campaign to get people to register to vote and to actually get out to the polls, sold like hotcakes. But somehow after people bought the t-shirt (just to be in the latest fashion) the follow through of voting just slipped their minds. Many people don't vote because they have an attitude of "my one vote won't really make a difference". They feel defeated before they even really try. Our ancestors died without having the right to vote; our mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts and uncles fought for the right to vote. I guess maybe black folks nowadays don't see the necessity in voting because they never see any real changes. So we let others go out and vote to elect the people to make the rules for us. Well, would you let a stranger pick a job for you or your healthcare? Or even more important would you allow some person whom you've never met, who doesn't live where you live or work how hard you work, come in and take over your life. Well if your answered no, you should be registered to vote and actually participate in the polls come this November. No, it's not a presidential election but it is still an important one. This upcoming election, we vote on our Senators, Congressmen, and local politicians. These are the people who go and make our decisions. Wouldn't you like to know if the Senator for your state agrees with gay marriages or not, if that person supports a raise in minimum wage (by the way which is $5.15 an hour)? Every persons vote does count and together we can make a difference. When we don't get out and vote we are giving White republicans exactly what they want: Free Reign! If you aren't registered to vote go to your local post office and get registered. It's never too late to start. Let's Vote or Die people!

When the wind blows

One of the comments that was posted for "selfish lovers" had this quote "Truth be told we need these kind of people in our life to make us stronger. Iron sharpens iron and men sharpen men. We have to have patient endurance and wait on God to send the wind that is going to blow those needy people out of our path." I thought this was quite ironic because I just finished reading Tyler Perry's new book Madea's commentaries Don't Make A Black woman take off her earrings, where Madea uses the same analogy. Madea says that some people come in your life for seasons and some for a lifetime. Some people are like the leaves on a tree; when their season is over they wither and die and blow away. What I've learned from reading the comments and as funny as it sounds from Madea is that everyone who comes into our lives God brings them for a reason and until they have served their purpose (until we have learned a lesson from them or taught them something) we need to endure the message that God is trying to give us. So until God blows the dead leaves we must take in the beauty that comes with the Fall.

Selfish Lovers

As I was on the topic of unconditional love and when to love and when to let go, it got me thinking about all of us who love people who say that they love us to but deep down we know they don't. I think there are people out there who really don't have a concept of what love really is. Some people think they love you because you love them but really what they love is the attention and the care that you give them. Those folks are lost, confused, and usually very needy. The need to be around people to fulfill them instead of finding fulfillment within. These kinds of people will latch onto the love that you give them and suck you dry until you are trying to figure out why you are so drained all the time. These lost people don't really love you because they don't love themselves. Should we still love these types of people unconditionally; should you love or let go? I don't think love should ever be harmful. It should never make you fell less than you are nor should it ever hold you back from your fullest potential. If the one you love doesn't and can't really love you back, you should let it go. You can still love but love from a far because 2nd hand smoke kills! And the toxicness from someone who doesn't love themselves enough to love someone else can make you miserable.

When to love and when to let go

One of the comments I got on the "Unconditional Love" post contained the question: when do we love and when do we let go? Great question right. I really don't know what my answer is to this one. I look at this question from a stand point of your blood family (mother, father, sisters, brothers) and I really don't think there is a time that you completely let go of them. I think we loosen our grip but we never really let go. If you have a child who is 21, drinking and smoking, doing all kinds of wrong things and just seem like they can't get right; you tell them all the right things to do, you give them the best advice you can and then you let them do what they are going to do. But you never let go of your kids, you just loosen that grip a little. Now we may be sick and tired of them but we never really completely write them off. The rules seem to be completely different for our spouses and even friends. We have this long list of "stuff that I just ain't gonna put up with" that applies to the folks that we invite into our lives. It seems as though it's okay to put conditions on that love and because of those conditions it makes it easier to let go of those people. Really I think if you love someone you do everything in your power not to let go. If the other person doesn't want that love and they want to be let go, then I think you should give them what they want. No relationship can work with only one person carrying all the weight all the time. So I guess my big picture view on when to love and when to let go is: if you both are trying and want it to work; don't ever let go. Talk it through, get some counseling but don't let go. If one of you needs to be carried until you get your strength back then that unconditional love needs to kick in and you carry them. But if they are asking you to let go and that's what they truly want, then I guess that unconditional love should allow you to let them go if that's what's going to make them happy.

Back in the day. Remember how good music was, music that actually made you feel something. Songs like "Before I let you go" "As House is not a home" man... Those songs were like the soundtrack to your life. I know all of you can think of a song and completely just go back to where you were the first time you ever heard it or what was going on and a particular song come on. I can remember my mom having Atlantic Starr's 8 track and listening to it in her room. Circles, Am I dreaming...those songs take me back to when I was little. Everything just seems right. We don't really have great music like that anymore. There are few and far songs now that we will be able to look back and add to our soundtracks. When you take that stroll down memory lane what's the soundtrack playing for your life?? What songs take you back?

Thanks for all your comments on today's post. I just wanted to let everyone know that this "unconditional love" post was just part one. Because I didn't want to make the post much longer than it already was, I left out some points that I wanted to make. But hey the great part of this site is that it can work like my mind, So as the thoughts hit me (even at 11 or 12 at night...cause ya'll know I can't stay up past 12 now :o) I will post and get them out to ya'll. NC

Unconditional love. Many of us don't really know the real definition of unconditional love. I can include myself in the many because I constantly find myself wondering how unconditional the love I have for people really is. God love us, as imperfect as we are, unconditionally. He takes us with all the negative, all the bad attitudes, all the lying, all the cheating; and he still loves us. I think most people genuinly have unconditional love for thier family and their children. If your mom, son, father, brother or sister were to do something terrible to you, most folks take it in (not that you aren't hurt or pissed about it) and over time we forgive our family. But there are those special people in our lives: our wives, husbands, step children and just people in general that we CHOSE to have in our lives. The choice is made to get married, to have close friends, and even to bring someone else's children into our home. You would think that since we chose these people to be in our lives that we would be able to really love them for all the good and all the bad that comes along with them but somehow that choice that we make to bring them in, also makes it so much easier to kick them out. We say to ourselves "Oh no, I will not put up with this or that" and "I'm not dealing with that!" but on the other hand we once loved that person enough to do anything for them. Ricky and I just recently had a talk about cheating. When we were first married, cheating would have been that thing that made both of us say "Enough, I can't do this anymore" but after some years of marriage neither of us have that same answer. I know my answer has changed because I am working towards loving my husband more unconditionally the way I know I love my mother, daughter, and brothers. It's not enough to say you love someone but you need to really know what love is. My big picture of what really encompasses unconditional love is starting to come into focus. Can you see the big picture?

Okay so now I've got the hang of what I need to do to post here. I'm going to try to have a thought for the day everyday because as I drive into work or I talk to folks I have these thoughts (of which I think are epiphanies) and just have to start getting them out.

So my thought for today: Why all of a sudden do parents want to be their kids friends???
I myself am now a parent but I'm not that far removed from my mother's house so I can still freshly remeber living at home under my mom's rules. Don't get me wrong of couse we as parents should be loving and friendly with our kids but I don't understand some people who don't want to discipline their children because they are afraid that they won't like them anymore. Who cares?? They are children with children's minds. They need and really they want discipline.
Somewhere along the way parents have decided that they want to give their children everything because they had nothing growing up. Well the way I see it, having everything is not working out all that well with the droves of kids killing their parents, fellow students, and themselves. Maybe having nothing taught you to enjoy things when you finally got them. Maybe having nothing gave people a sense of purpose to go out and earn something.
I don't know but I know the Big Picture now is a lot worse than the Big Picture of our parents, huh??

Hello everyone. Well I (like I'm sure all of you do too) have a lot on my mind daily that I would like to get out! I really have been pressed lately to start writing again but i have so many things floating around in my mind that I really find it hard to just sit down and create a thesis to start writing around. I think about how I want to help people, how I'd like to change how people think about things, and really how I'd like to change the world. Well this is my first attempt at trying to change something on thought at a time all leading to the big picture!

NC