Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Giving Advice
Have you ever given a friend advice only to have them get mad at what you've told them. Of course you are left puzzled because this friend of yours came to you for your own personal thoughts on their situation and then decided to get mad at what you told them. I guess for some people it's much easier to shoot, stab, and kill the messenger than to actually take to heart the comments that they made. Also it's strange to me the folks who come to you and ask for advice and then they decide to just keep on doing what they were doing anyway. I look at it like this: if you needed to talk to someone about a situation or problem in your life it usually means that you know you are doing something wrong and since you don't want to listen to your own voice of reason you need to hear someone else's. So why do some folks ask for advice and then act like they never even heard you? I read once (and it's something that I thought was quite profound) "when you don't have the information you aren't responsible, but the minute you get the information on what you need to do, then you are responsible and if you don't do anything you can't blame anyone but yourself". Great quote, I think. If you asked for someone's advice, it must mean you trust them, so trust enough that they wouldn't steer you wrong. Don't waste time asking for advice you don't want nor going to take. This isn't anything that I'm going through right now just something I was thinking about.
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4 comments:
HHAHA whew, yes plenty of times.I really don't like to even say NOTHING anymore because then things are blamed on me, it some kind of way is my fault.I have even noticed when now that it's Not even my own Words of advice but the Words Jesus has given to me to say still ends up being my fault or this one: Kim said this or that.God will have to work with me on this one since I'm now at a point that I refuse to say anything.Sealed are my LIPS!!!I found that people ask you because they do at the time believe in what you are saying, however when it goes wrong , or maybe thats not how to word it,when stuff happens OR things don't turn out in they wat THEY think it should have then they want to blame you for what you just told them that they in fact alreay knew but still wanted some light shed on it so they could then go fourth in what they wanted to do anyway.
The person gets mad because they don't want to be responsible for their own actions. They revert to their Adamic nature and began to blame others - just like Adam did to God, "the woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree and I did eat".
Truth be told, they are really mad at themselves but don't know how to take it out on themselves so they get mad with the person that gave them the advise.
I am EVER learning that people don't want to be responsible for their own actions and even if you shine light in their dark areas in life and they aren't ready to come into the light, they still get mad. At one point, I was like I AIN'T saying nothing else to nobody. However, God placed two beautiful jewels in my life and I had listen to their ADVISE because "I" know they were telling me the truth even though my emotions were saying something completely different. I am thankful for my advisors.
yes Nikki I belive you 100%. Somtimes I tell my freinds some things and they act like they didn't want to hear it when they came to me and asked me for it. That gets on my nerves and I'm trying to work on it this was a very good blog.
Thanks for your comments. I guess the thing to remeber is that not everyone who asks for your advice really wants it. Most of the time people really want to hear the opposite of what they already know is right in their hearts.
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