Monday, August 28, 2006
Post Marital counseling
Last night I had a discussion with two very good friends of mine about marriage counseling. In my opinion pre-marital counseling is a good thing; it kind of lets you know the rules of the game before you start to play, but it also leave a lot to be desired. I mean, before I got married we had at least 4 or 5 sessions with the Pastor who married us. I think I had to go to 3 of the with out my then fiance because he was out of the area but the 2 or 3 that we went to together really weren't all that enlightening. I think it was necessary but I don't really feel as though I or we learned much. Truthfully we needed counseling most 6 months into our marriage. I think post marital counseling should be just as mandatory as the pre-marital counseling. In my mind the perfect schedule would be a 6/12/18 month check-up. I think when two people have decided to get married they don't really think about foreverness (I know it's not a word!) of it but once you are married you begin to look at all the negative things about your partner and think "can I deal with that forever?" Just having someone to talk out all the problems that newlyweds tend to have, I think, would help curve the divorce rate. Here's a free idea for somebody out there with a psych degree or ministers and pastors: Post marital Counseling 6 months/12 months/18 months. Run with that!
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3 comments:
Having been married now for about five years, I can look back and definately say that we needed to talk to someone for the first two years of our marriage. Yes we made it through but at what cost. If we would have had to go and talk to a pastor six monthes in maybe I would have realized that the way I was was slowly breaking down my wife (Nicole did suggest that we go and talk to someone but me being the hard headed man that I am refused). I thank God for helping us to make it through and now that I am older and wiser I would definately go t counseling if it is needed.
One thing I would add. I would add a Marital check up every five years. This is just to check all of the levels and make sure that love, trust, and the Lord are still plentiful.
"I think post marital counseling should be just as mandatory as the pre-marital counseling".
You are absoluting correct. "Pre" gives some insight on what the couple is about to enter into and preps them for the conversion 2 into 1. However, "post" is as equally important. This is something I have just implemented as a Pastor.
Yes I know that pre-marital counseling is Very important, a VITAL NECESSITY!!!! I don't think people really look at what God's meaning of marriage is.The Bible tells us that Marriage is a Sacred Convenat from God,that you are no longer just 2 people sharing a life together,but ONE.You prepare for that day and think Wow we're going to get married,you get caught up in all that you think it will be,not even really thinking how serious this step your about to take is.Or that this is for a lifetime, We will have to deal with the possitives and the and the negatives.People need the talks before and after so they will know that this isn't fun and games and as the fairy tales say and they lived happily ever after...No it takes WORK.It takes putting God First place,talking and sharing understanding and humbleness.I think a 6 month counseling,right up into the date.Then at least periodically durning the first year.This still however will be up to the persons involed and their willingness to seek help.In the long run you still have to do
this ''Together''.The Pastor/Counselor job is to guide the parties,to give some balance and to listen.Couples still have to do their part.Marriage is really a Beautiful thing when you look at it through the Eyes of God and knowing ''his'' Purpose of this Unity.
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