Something To Marinate On

Thought for Today

"You really don't become what you want. You become what you believe."
—Oprah

An Episode of Oprah

There recently was an episode of Oprah with a woman who was in an abusive marriage. I'm an avid Oprah viewer but the commercials for this particular show were so disturbing that I couldn't even bring myself to watch it. In the commercials you could hear and see this woman's husband cursing and beating her because he had their teenage son video tape it. All a little too much for me, but I do realize that there are many women and young girls who live that life everyday.
In college, a friend was in a situation where she was being beaten. We would see her in classes with black eyes and bruises but it still took a while to ask her what was going on; even though we knew. Of course at first she lied but finally she did admit that she needed some help. Why did it take so long to ask a friend if she needed help when the answer was already so clear? Well its a curious thing, but somehow the person who is being abused either believes that they deserve it or that being beaten is a form of love. Either way as a friend, you know that they are more apt to be defensive and not receptive to help.
I recently heard some advice on the Steve Harvey show about how to deal with a loved one in these types of situations. Steve gave the advice to not confront your loved one but go straight to the abuser or send that unscrupulous cousin or nephew that's been in jail once or twice; basically someone who doesn't really have good sense! You get that person to go and talk to the abuser and basically say "Hey look, we all know what's going on so you don't even have to try to deny it. You need to stay away from (insert name here) or some real bad things might happen to you." Then if you'd like to throw some extra stuff in there, then you can use a couple of lines from Bad Boys 2 when that boy came to pick up Marcus's daughter and Mike asked him if he ever slept with a man. You know what I'm talking about if you've seen the movie. Then chop the dude in the throat so he can't breathe...
I thought this was great advice. But if you'd like some PhD advice, I've got that too click on this link: http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200705/tows_past_20070508_c.jhtml

I personally like and will follow the Steve Harvey advice should there be another person in my life who needs this kind of help. I surely will not be going to any one's apartment to ask their crazy boyfriend to leave peacefully anymore, believe me crazy and peaceful don't go together. You have to fight crazy with crazy; send your crazy cousin to handle business.

Knowing When

Have you ever been conflicted with the thoughts of something that you needed to get off your mind? Something that you really felt like you had to express to someone else? Most times when I feel like that, I try to really think about why I want to say whatever it is that's on my mind. Is it for my benefit or for someone else? Will the conversation actually have a positive outcome? If I can't answer the questions in a positive manner I usually keep my thoughts to myself. Not everything needs to be said, and if it does need to be spoken it doesn't have to be said by me. It's important to me to make my word count and sometimes above all silence is golden.

Because I've been told to...

I've had some very busy days at work and at home and haven't really had a chance to post. I've been meaning to post a quote of the day for the last week but I had to today because I just know God wants me to. I was watching a movie and had to rewind it 3x's to listen to this line again and again:
"Who you chose to have around you, let you know who you are."

I've heard this quote before but stated differently as I'm sure you have too, "Birds of a feather flock together", but for some reason when I heard it in that movie it made so much more sense to me. Then today I received an email with the following message:

Who are you around?Are the people around you your idea of who you wanna be? If you want to be in fashion, go to 7th Ave!! Wanna be a movie star??? Go to Hollywood!!! Ducks hang with ducks! Frogs jump with frogs! Where are you going? What is your aim? Watch the company you keep!!! (Remember!) If you keep going to the barber shop, you're bound to get a hair cut!!!

I knew I had to make this post and stop putting it off. Someone out there needs to read it. Maybe it was me or maybe it's you but I know it's important not to put things off as coincidences. God makes all things happen.

Ever wonder??

Have you ever thought what it would be like to be in someone else? Not in the sense that you want to be someone else but just the thought of what someone else goes through. I find myself looking at people sometimes and just wondering what's going on in their head. I always try to imagine what someone else might be going through because I think as we all get wrapped up in the story of our own lives we become so detached from other people that we can't related to other's problem. Of course your situation becomes "different" because it's your problem and of course no one else could possibly understand. I think when we all realize that just about every situation boils down to being the same then it will be a little easier to stop blaming others for not understanding us.

Making the Right Choices

At times; although I am 28 years old, married, and a mother, I still feel like a little kid. I know that I don't always make the right decisions but I always try to be true to myself and not hurt the people around me. I don't even know what to write here because I really can't express what I'm feeling in a vague but specific way. I guess I can sum up what I want to say by saying this; if intention rules the world then I am in a good place because I don't go out in the world EVER with negative intentions. Hopefully intent does mean something.

The Craziness of the World

When I first heard about the Virginia Tech shootings, I thought it was a very sad thing that hap pend and that it was very crazy that someone would do something like this but I wasn't really hurt or saddened too much. That is until I read an account of some of the wounded students who had lived through this horrible ordeal. One of the students told how scared he was when they saw the gunman come in the room with both guns raised and knowing that there was no where to run or nothing to do other than pray. The young man said he just laid on the floor while he was shot 3 times, and wondered if he would die slowly, if it would hurt to die, what his parents would think and thinking about his fellow classmates.
Reading that article really brought me into that room with those kids. I felt such a surge of sadness and grief for those kids and their parents. It's such a scary thing moving throughout the world and knowing in all actuality you are not safe. There are people in this world who don't value their own lives so of course can't possibly have regard for anyone else. No one every wants to think of the negative things that could happen even on a daily basis which to me makes it even more necessary to be in touch with God. God is happiness, everything good and knowing that makes it a little easier to cope with horrible things like this.

Quote for the Day

"Let go of the noise, And when you let go there's only God." Russel Simmons

When I read this it really resignated with me. It seems lately that everything I see, hear, or read is dealing with getting closer to that wonderful source that is God. I feel like I have a good relationship with that source already but I know it's not to a point when I can easily recognize it all the time. I'm still working on my HOW, but I can feel that energy of God pointing me in the right direction; I just need to let go of the noise.

The Zone

I recently joined my church's softball team or softball ministry as they like to call it. We practice on just about every week at a batting cage not far from my house. At one of the practices there was a woman on the team who asked me to help her learn how to hit like I do. She asked me to explain the mechanics of how I hit the ball so hard and how to get the correct timing; in short she wanted to know how I hit the ball. I look at her and told her I didn't really know. I tried to think about what goes through my mind right before I hit the ball so that I could try to explain the feeling but I couldn't. The more I thought about it the more I realized that my mind is in a state of elevation where everything just feels right so I don't have to think. Most people who are good at something can recall being "in the zone" and not really having to think about anything but the feeling is so right that nothing goes wrong. It's God given talent whether it's playing a sport, doing someones taxes, writing, or even being a parent; you know in those moments that it's nothing that you are doing but something that is already inside that you couldn't have created even if you tried.
I want to feel that with my prayers and in listening to God's voice.

Something I Needed

I recieved a book that I couldn't put down when I first got it called the "Purpose Driven Life". This book captivated me but at the time I was also reading 2 other books and put the book down thinking I would pick it back up after I finished the other two. I didn't pick the book back up until last night and the chapter that I read had the answer to a question that I have been asking a lot lately. I feel like I know the solution now but I still need to figure out the correct steps to get there. My question is this: What am I here for? What is my purpose? What do you want me to do? I'm sure just about everyone at some point in their lives has asked this question because I think as human beings we all are in search of the WHY of our lives.

So when I read the following quote from CS Lewis I knew God had directed me to open that book and read that chapter: "The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become-because He made us. It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality that I first begin to have a real personality of my own." I also read this quote which struck me: "You can not fulfill God's purpose for your life while focusing on your own plans"

It all makes so much sense to me but I'm still praying on the HOW. The chapter said you just have to submit yourself to God's will but I'm still wondering HOW. In all things, there is nothing more frustrating to me that to know that there is something that needs to be done, to even know what the end product needs to be but not know how to get it done. I'm praying on it and I'm praying for others as well because I know I'm not the only one wondering How to move in the way that God want us to move. I really feel like it should be an easy thing, a natural thing but I can't quite find the switch to get me out of the dark.

Wisdom Comes From Everywhere

Instead of trying to summarize and repeat this increadible thought, I figured it would be much better to have a guest writer and use his own words. So I hope this inspires someone:

I was given this message from one of my classmates last week after he told me the story of how his wife was killed (shot for no reason while driving on 295). The story was heart breaking but the message was chilling and uplifting (words directly from the Lord). The message was three simple words that will get you through any situation.

Belief -- Determines -- Behavior

I have the message displayed on my desk to remind me everyday that the Lord is there for me and if I just have faith in Him everything will work out in the end.

Ricky B. Cooksey Jr.

A thought for today

"For me, a miracle is seeing the world with light in your eyes. It's knowing there's always hope and possibility where none seems to exist."
—Oprah

Just Wondering

I was thinking the other day: I wonder if Oprah has business cards? Then I wondered if she does what in the word would it say: Oprah Winfrey CEO & President Harpo Productions? Or Maybe Philanthropist Extrodanaire? Does she even need a business card, I think not. But I still wonder if she has one. I'll ask the next time I talk to Ms. Gayle King. :0)

More Black History

Garrett A. Morgan was an inventor and businessman from Cleveland Ohio. Morgan is credited with inventing: The gas mask, the traffic light, and the zig-zag stitching attachment for sewing machine. Morgan is also credited as being the very 1st African-American to own a car.

As We Round out February

I didn't quite meet my goal of posting everyday but as I find new interesting facts I will still be posting and sharing. Also thanks to everyone who has left comments!

I did a little research on the terms: negro, black, & African American. I looked more closely at these classifications because I have a hard time describing myself as black. I've never actually seen a black person, maybe cinnamon brown, cocoa colored, or even plum colored but never black. I, as I'm sure other people have, have been searching for a better term to describe my race and I've decided that black just ain't it! I also used to oppose African-American, because people who are from the continent of Africa and migrate to America are considered African-American. After my research I think African-American will suffice until I can come up with something else. So take a look at what I found, hopefully it will open your mind a little.

Negro/Colored/Nigrah/Nigger-1960
The term negro, literally meant "black", was used by theSpanish and Portuguese to refer to dark-skinned people. It fell out of favor by the 1970s in the United States, though it is still in use by a small number of older individuals (in its original sense)
Lyndon B. Johnson was the last American president to publicly refer to the African American population as Negroes, which, for much of his life, he pronounced "nig-ruhs", widely considered an insult by African Americans.

Black-70’s The Black Power movement defiantly embraced Black as a group identifier—a term they themselves had repudiated only two decades earlier—a term often associated in English with things negative and undesirable, proclaiming, "Black is beautiful".

Afro-American first used by Maya Angelou-1980’s
African American- During the 1980s, the most influential proponent of the widespread adoption of the term was Jesse Jackson. Jackson and like-minded persons argued that African American was more in keeping with the United States tradition of "hyphenated Americans", which links people with their ancestors' geographic points of origin, and allows people to assert pride in their ethnic heritage, while maintaining an American national identity. There is some criticism of the term 'African American'. To be African American, some argue that an individual would have to be born in Africa, then immigrate to the U.S., and then obtain citizenship. By this definition, an overwhelming majority of Black Americans would not be African American, but of African descent.

It Ain't Over

Okay here's another little known black history fact that I just read today and thought I'd share:


As track and field athlete, Alice Coachman was the first African-American woman to win a gold medal in Olympic competition. Initially banned from training with white athletes as a child, Coachman created her own athletic regimen and made her own equipment until she was able to join her high school team. She won a scholarship to the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama, and competed as the only African-American athlete on five All-American teams. At the 1948 Olympics in London, Coachman battled through back problems to take home the gold medal. She was the only American woman to medal that year.

Always So Innovative

"We wish to plead our own cause. Too long have others spoken for us"

Doesn't that quote still ring very true for many of us today? Those words were spoken by Samual Cornish and John B. Russwurm on the front page of Freedom's Journal, the very 1st black owned and operater newspaper that was ever published in the US. This was a weekly publication in New York from 1827 to 1829.
Freedom's Journal denounced slavery and advocated for black people's political rights, the right to vote, and spoke out against lynchings. As a paper of record, Freedom's Journal published birth, death and wedding announcements. To encourage black achievement it featured biographies of renowned black figures such as Paul Cuffee, a black Bostonian who owned a trading ship staffed by free black people, Touissant L'Ouverture and poet Phyllis Wheatley. The paper also printed school, job and housing listings.

Just another Black History Fact for ya. It's something I didn't know so I thought I would share.

You Go Girl!

"Tears will get you sympathy. Sweat will get you change."-Jesse Jackson, minister and activist




Carol Mosely-Braun made history in 1992 when she was elected to the U.S. Senate, becoming the first, and thus far only, black woman senator. Her election marked the first time Illinois had elected a woman, and the first time a black person was elected as a Democratic Party candidate to the United States Senate. She was one of two African Americans to serve in the Senate in the 20th century, and was the sole African American in the Senate from 1993 to 1999.
In Sept. 2003, she announced her candidacy for U.S. president making her the 3rd Black woman in history to try to become the president, but pulled out in Jan. 2004 to throw her support to Howard Dean.

Moseley-Braun graduated from the University of Illinois at Chicago in 1969 and earned a law degree from the University of Chicago in 1972. She currently owns and runs a private law firm, Moseley Braun LLC in Chicago.

Say It Loud!

Black History Quote for the Day: "Freedom is never given; it is won." A. Phillip Randolf

I think people like Shirley Chisholm exemplify this quote. Mrs. Chisholm was the first black person ever to run for President Candidacy. In 1964 Chisholm ran for a state assembly seat which she won and served in the New York General Assembly from 1964 to 1968. In 1968, after finishing her term in the legislature, Chisholm campaigned to represent New York's Twelfth Congressional District. Her campaign slogan was "Fighting Shirley Chisholm--Unbought and Unbossed." She won the election and became the first African American woman elected to Congress. On January 25, 1972, Chisholm announced her candidacy for president, which she did not win but received 151 delegate votes.

Women like Mrs. Shirley Chisholm make me proud to be a Black woman! For more information on Shirley Chisholm, of course you can Google her or check out this link: http://www.pbs.org/wnet/aaworld/reference/articles/shirley_chisholm.html

The History of Black History Month

As we all know February is Black History Month, so I thought it would be cool to try to post everyday a new and maybe little known black history fact. Don't worry, I'm going to cover each one of those 6 folks who ran for president so you can look for that coming soon!

So, here is today's fact" Americans have recognized black history annually since 1926, first as "Negro History Week" and later as "Black History Month". We owe the celebration of Black History Month, and more importantly, the study of black history, to Dr. Carter G. Woodson. Dr. Woodson, a Harvard PhD, decided to take on the challenge of writing Blacks into history books.

Dr. Carter G. Woodson, we speak your name. (I borrowed that from Oprah!) I thank God that Dr. Woodson inconvenienced himself to do something special for his people. Without people like him we would still be absent from all history books, save for the brief mention we get when slavery is glanced over as the Emancipation Proclamation is taught.