The Da Vinci Code

I'm not sure how many of you have read this book or even seen the movie but my post yesterday got me thinking about this post. So I'll give you some brief points from the book just in case you haven't had the pleasure of reading it: it's basically a murder mystery story which develops around a group that sole purpose is to protect the decedent of Jesus. It also takes a look at the portrait of the Last Supper and says that one of the disciples in the picture is actually Mary Magdalene and that she was actually Jesus' wife. Now believe me I'm the first one to not read something or listen to someone who is telling me something negative about Christ that I should not believe. This book was strickly for entertainment purposes but it did raise some questions. Who says Jesus never got married? Who's to say Jesus never had children? What if someone took things out of the bible because it made certain people look bad or made women look like they should have had more power. Am I wrong for asking these kinds of questions, I don't think so but please tell me if I am wrong. I think scientist have such a hard time with religion because most of it is faith based and if you can't prove something they can't believe it. Well I do have faith enough to believe in things I can't see. I can breathe but I can't see the air, so why wouldn't I believe in Jesus? But in believing in Jesus does that mean I can't seek a further truth, that I can't ask questions?

Why Not??

Today I had a conversation with one of my coworkers about Christianity. This guy used to be a Catholic but no longer considers himself so because he just can't make himself believe that one man (the Pope) is without fallacy. I agree with him, the bible tells us that all men have faults. He said he considers himself a Christian now but he still has questions and concerns. First he said he finds it concerning that so called "right winged Christians" have quite strong beliefs and feel as though you shouldn't have any questions of God. He said he thought God would answer any question he had and would still love him even if the question was in reference to God. I told him I thought so too. He also had a problem with mega churches that are conducting themselves more and more like the Catholic church ie more like a business. Most of all he was concerned with the messages that some churches are putting out there. I agreed with him on a lot of his points and I told him that there was nothing wrong with asking God questions. My coworker said he felt like if he had a strong personal connection with God then everything would be okay. I told him that I though he was right and that it is very important to have that personal relationship with God. He also gave me the name of a book about Christianity that he just started reading the book is called "Letters from a Skeptic" by Gregory Boyd. I'm going to buy the book and read it myself because it sounded very interesting. It's basically letters from Gregory's father on why he should believe in God; why he should be a Christian. Here's a link if you are more interested http://www.amazon.com/Letters-Skeptic-Wrestles-Questions-Christianity/dp/1564762440/sr=1-1/qid=1157072679/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-6503296-8365762?ie=UTF8&s=books. I just wanted to ask you why is it that when people ask questions of Christians then they don't believe in God? Why is it that when a movie or book like the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown comes out people peg it as being Anit-Christian. I've read the book and seen the movie and it's definitely not anti-Christian but it does ask some interesting questions about Jesus and Christianity itself. Why isn't it okay to ask questions?

Blank

Sorry folks, no enlightening post tonight. I had a busy day and nothing really struck me today to write about. I'm still listening so something may download while I'm in the shower but if not, I'll be back tomorrow!

Dreams

I had a really scary and troubling dream last night that woke me up out of my sleep. It was one of those dreams that I just couldn't shake once I had kind of woke up but in my half awake, half asleep state I could hear "you need to get up and pray for your family". I laid there like are you sure? I really didn't feel like getting up even though my heart was beating kind of fast from the dream and although I couldn't really go to sleep. I did get up and do what I was told but this morning the whole situation just go me to thinking: did that dream mean anything? Better yet do any of our dreams really have meaning or are they just our minds working overtime? What do you think? I'm not really sure if all of our dreams mean something. I know I've had some very vivid dreams before and I'm sure if I told them to certain people they would say "oh that dream means ...." Well I'm not 100% sure that our dreams mean anything or then again maybe in our sleeping state God can really get though to us and gives us lessons in dreams; kinda like watching tv and getting a message from it.

Post Marital counseling

Last night I had a discussion with two very good friends of mine about marriage counseling. In my opinion pre-marital counseling is a good thing; it kind of lets you know the rules of the game before you start to play, but it also leave a lot to be desired. I mean, before I got married we had at least 4 or 5 sessions with the Pastor who married us. I think I had to go to 3 of the with out my then fiance because he was out of the area but the 2 or 3 that we went to together really weren't all that enlightening. I think it was necessary but I don't really feel as though I or we learned much. Truthfully we needed counseling most 6 months into our marriage. I think post marital counseling should be just as mandatory as the pre-marital counseling. In my mind the perfect schedule would be a 6/12/18 month check-up. I think when two people have decided to get married they don't really think about foreverness (I know it's not a word!) of it but once you are married you begin to look at all the negative things about your partner and think "can I deal with that forever?" Just having someone to talk out all the problems that newlyweds tend to have, I think, would help curve the divorce rate. Here's a free idea for somebody out there with a psych degree or ministers and pastors: Post marital Counseling 6 months/12 months/18 months. Run with that!

Segregation

When you look around your neighborhood, what do you see? Is it pretty homogeneous? How about your friends? We all look at segregation like its a bad thing but aren't we just chosing segregation now? I know I live in a neighborhood with mostly all black people except for one neighbor. Of course forced segration the way it was, was horrible. But you know, if seprate but equal could have been a reality then I think I would be all for it. If we could actually seperate ourselves but still have all the luxuries that we all have now, I think it might actually be better for black people. Once we all got over the intial shock of all being together and we learned to help rather than hinder each other, I think we would be a much better people. What do you think.

Race Relations

How do you really feel about interracial dating? I mean if you really, really think about it what's your first reaction? Is it "My son/daughter bet not bring home no white girl/boy? Or if your white and reading this of course it's the opposite. You know, if I have to be honest I would say that I wouldn't want my daughter to date or marry a white person. Not because I don't like white people but because of the hardships that come along with that kind of marriage. When you get married you want to be able to come home and tell your spouse about how your day was. What if you were racially discriminated that day? Would your white husband or wife be able to relate to that? I don't think so. I'm not so much hung up on "oh, the white women are taking all of our good men" because I don't really feel like that nor do I feel like there aren't any good black men out there; they have to be: I found one! Shout out to Ricky! Anyway I just wanted to know what some of you feel out there. How would you feel if your child dated someone of another race? Let's be real honest about it too! You don't have to be politically correct with me. :0) Oh, and while we are talking about race I've got even more questions for you. Why are churches so segregated? If we are all Christians why can't we all go to church together? What if your black pastor had a white wife, how would you feel about it? I have more questions to but I'll save them for another post.

My 40 Days

A while back my pastor used Noah as a reference; he said that we all know the story of how God told Noah to build the ark and to collect 2 of every animal and how he was obedient and did so. But none of us really know the background information on how scared Noah must have been while enduring the 40 days & 40 nights of nothing but rain. God never told Noah how long the storm would be so he just had to keep his faith that everything would be okay but I'm sure Noah was just like some of us and thought that God may have forgotten about him. We really don't know what Noah's 40 days were like and we don't know anyone else's either. I try to always remember this when I look at someone else's situation from the outside. Usually when we look at someone else's situation, we always have lots of commentary on how they should handle their situation. Many of us are guilty of "Girl, I wouldn't put up with that mess" or "Boy, she's stupid" I always try to remember that not everyone feels like I do and those 40 days make a big difference for everyone. Some of us have had an easy 40 days and then others of us have had a hellish 40 days. The lessons we learn coming out of the 40 days & nights help make us the person that we are. Sometimes folks learn the lessons and take something positive from it others blame God for their bad times and never learn the lesson that He intended. Try to remember that you never really know someone's Big Picture, you can never experience their 40 days.

Getting Started

I was thinking about my post about "what is worth it" and I realized that maybe most people have good intentions and they really do want to make a difference but they don't know how. Then you have the people (such as myself) who want to point fingers in outrage and say "Hey why aren't we fixing all these problems!" but most people don't say hey this is how you start to fix the problem. I know that is one of the most frustrating things for me..wanting to help or to try to make a change and not really knowing how to start. So I'd like to start by saying that when I mention problems or things that have outraged me on my drive in or something I've heard on the news, I will be imploring to each and one of you to start to make a different, but I won't just be standing on my soap box screaming and yelling I plan on trying to find out the HOW to what ever the problem is and letting everyone know. How do we fix the public school systems so that we don't have to send our kid to private school unless we want to and not out of necessity? How do we encourage our children that their education doesn't stop at high school? How do we teach or children that rapping and sports aren't the only jobs that they can get? How do we teach our children that the visuals that they see on television of iced out watches and chains that cost more than some peoples homes, isn't real and most of those rapper rent their jewelry. I don't know yet but I promise to share the answers when I find out. We can all start together.

Knowing your surroundings

Okay so the flip side of a strong support system...As I wrote the post on the support system I began to think about those people who really and truly think they have a good support system but in reality their support is really trying to tear them down. Some of us have family and friends who we think have our backs through any situation but really the advice and seemingly words of wisdom they give us are out of envy, jealousy, and malice. The very people who we go to in situations of worry, intimidation, and fear are the same ones who say that they love us and are praying for us but still give advice that is self serving and out of anger and not love. Have you ever gone to someone for help only to receive ungodly advice? I have someone in my life; who while I was in a very taxing situation were I was faced with a very difficult decision of leaving a job after my husband and I had just bought a new house, tell me "well now you got this big ole house and now you can't pay for it". I was already in a very lost state (I had no idea of what decision I should make) and to hear something like that come from someone whom I love and is supposed to love me was very hurtful; mostly so because I know the comment came out of jealousy. I had to deal with the anger that the one comment made me feel but I have never forgotten it. It to me is a constant reminder to never go to that person in a real time of trial or anxiety. It is very important to know the people you have surrounding you...Some of those people have proven that they are worthy to be in your support system and others (and you have to know who they are) just don't always have your best interest at heart. It is important not to blame those people for not being able to be more giving but you have to know that everyone in life has their own trials that have made them the way they are. We never know what another persons 40 days have been like. But that's another blog.. :0)

A Stong Background

I was just thinking about how important it is to have a strong support system. To have people standing beside and behind you that always believe in you even when you don't believe in yourself. These people aren't always your family because God sometime sends people in your life to fill that void but it's great when you mother, father or wife or husband can be that support system for you. Having support from your parents early on give you the confidance to go out into the world and know that you can do anything you put your mind to because even if things don't work out exactly how you had planned them to, you still have someone to tell you "Baby, everything is going to be okay" and that they love you. I thank God that I have the support system that I do. I have a wonderful husband, a caring and loving mother, a truthful sister and numerous other people in my life to always tell me the truth in any situation and to help pick me up when ever I fall. Because of all these people I am able to take a step back an really look at how blessed I really am.
As I was writing this I thought about how the opposite side of this: not having a good support system. Or even when you don't realize that your support system really isn't that supportive. I guess I'll talk about that tomorrow because oh boy I've got a lot to say!

The Twenty Something Midlife Crisis

This post is my own venting and although it might not be relevant to anyone else, it's my blog so sorry but that's what it for. So last night I woke up at 3:30 with the following on my mind and I had to get this out. So what you are about to read is straight from last night. I am at a point in my life where it would be rather naive of me not to recognize that I need to update my resume and start looking for a new job. Don't get me wrong I have a good job now: the pay is good, I have a great boss that I have learned more from that if I had taken MBA courses, and I have flexibility that would be hard to find at another place. With all that being said the complexion of the company is changing and it is time for me to go and I am now taxed with the scary fact of; a new job but doing what? I have a degree in marketing...I feel like I did all the right things; I did well in high school, I went to college and got a degree. But I don't really have a skill. I'm not in computers; I'm not an accountant. I don't have a skill to put a finger on. Marketing is a knowledge base career that is very age discriminatory. You can't have a lot of knowledge in something unless you've experienced it and at twenty something I haven't had a lot. If I had gone to college for a skill based degree I wouldn't be here. An accountant can always find work because young or not numbers are always numbers. I read part of this book once that went into the new Mid-life crisis of the twenty something that includes myself. These are the folks I went to school with who are now faced with the question: Now What? Maybe the devil is trying to scare me into thinking I won't get another job or maybe God is just trying to wake me up to not be complacent where I am. It's God, He just told me to move. It's time to move on. Please tell me where to go, how do I do this? I don't even know where I am.

What is worth IT?

Why aren't we as a people more outraged by bad things that happen? Why is it that we can so easily forget things that have happen that did rouse us out of the complaitancy that is our day to day lives. For example: why aren't we more upset about the conditions of the people in New Orleans, why aren't Black people concerned with the fact that recently our government almost took away our right to vote, why aren't we outraged that our children aren't getting the promised education in the public school that we ALREADY pay for, and why aren't more people out voting to get the republicans (who want to keep minium wage below the poverty level) out of office? As I drove into work this morning I heard Rev. Al Sharpton speaking on how not much has changed in New Orleans, how people still don't have jobs and homes, and how no one even cares anymore. It really light a fire in my mind because this same thing happens all the time and it makes me wonder: What really is worth us fighting for?? Why don't people try to help others or better question why don't we even try to help ourselves. If you were in a sinking boat would you just sit in it and drown even if you didn't know how to swim or would you fight tooth and nail to try to keep your self alive? We all are drowning people! And most of us don't even have the sense to try to make it to shore. I think a lot of us decide that we might want to try to do something but because we don't know where to start we don't even try. Well again if you were in that boat and it sprang a leak and started sinking, would you wait until someone taught you how to fix boats or would you try everything you knew how to do to make the leak stop. We all are capable of great things if we just get up and START. The key is to just start.

The Simple Life

Today my daughter and I sat in the backyard on the patio. It was around 6:30 and the shade had come around to the back of the house so the weather felt just right. We sat down and just listened to the birds and the breeze blow through the leaves of the trees. I showed her two rocks and the sound that they made when you hit them together. She loved it, well until I took them away from her 5 minutes later because she also wanted to find out what they would taste like. As a one year old she is the most observant person I know. She hears and see every little thing, not only does she take notice of most things but she is truly interested in them. I sat there with her looking at the rocks trying to see what she found so interesting in them and I realized that it was simple; it was new to her, everything is new to her. When did seeing the sun rise, watching a bird fly, or looking up at the starry night sky become interesting? We all need to stop and take a look at all these wonderful things that are happening around us without notice because we have all become so busy. Take the time tomorrow to just sit outside and listen or take a walk and allow yourself to really feel the breeze blowing around you or even look out your window during the evening and see how many stars you can see. I think you'll find that everything that God has created is still very interesting but now we are all to busy to notice. Let's try to take the time to look at the picture that God has created for us. It is truly beautiful.

Being The Best You

As we go through our lives a lot of us aspire to be like other people. We see people like Oprah, Bill Cosby, even neighbors and friends say "oh man I wanna be like them". We say these things in passing never really knowing what that persons life is really like. We don't know what Oprah's life is like outside of what she allows us to see on television. We have no idea what our neighbors really live like once they walk in the house and close out the world. Instead of looking at other people and saying "oh I wish I had that" or "I wish I lived like that" focus on being yourself and try to be the best at it. God only made one of you and He took the time to make you special. If He wanted to make us all alike I'm sure he could have. The only thing you can really be the best at that no one else can, is being you. Focus your time and effort on figuring out what your emotional issues are; what's holding you back from having a great marriage or why can't you keep a job. Really focus in on yourself and not what other people have done. Once we can be honest and introspective with ourselves we can all start to grow within. That growth is completely necessary to see and understand the big picture for your life.

The Right Path

Have you ever been in a situation and everything just seemed to be right? You know those times when you feel so at ease and every move you make is perfect. I have those moments every now and then and I always know that I am on God's path during those times. There are actually times when I experience what I can only liken to dejavu, where I am in a place that I can actually see that I have been before. It's like I'm in an almost dreamlike state when the vision comes back to me of exactly what I am doing. It's always a scary, strange feeling but also sort of comforting. It lets me know that I am still on the right path. While I sat in church today and listened to the paster speak, I heard her give messages about how old music can take you back to a place of remeberance & remebering the history of our people and the path that they have paved for you and I thought of this blog. Hearing her confirm some of the messages that I have been pouring out into this blog is just another message from God to let me know that I am still on his path and that maybe, just maybe I'll be able to soon see my big picture. Take some time today to think of things that you enjoy, things that truly make you happy. That secret love of yours may just be a part of your big picture.

Do or Die

A couple of years ago Sean "Puffy" Combs started a voting initiative called "Vote or Die". The t-shirts that went with this campaign to get people to register to vote and to actually get out to the polls, sold like hotcakes. But somehow after people bought the t-shirt (just to be in the latest fashion) the follow through of voting just slipped their minds. Many people don't vote because they have an attitude of "my one vote won't really make a difference". They feel defeated before they even really try. Our ancestors died without having the right to vote; our mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts and uncles fought for the right to vote. I guess maybe black folks nowadays don't see the necessity in voting because they never see any real changes. So we let others go out and vote to elect the people to make the rules for us. Well, would you let a stranger pick a job for you or your healthcare? Or even more important would you allow some person whom you've never met, who doesn't live where you live or work how hard you work, come in and take over your life. Well if your answered no, you should be registered to vote and actually participate in the polls come this November. No, it's not a presidential election but it is still an important one. This upcoming election, we vote on our Senators, Congressmen, and local politicians. These are the people who go and make our decisions. Wouldn't you like to know if the Senator for your state agrees with gay marriages or not, if that person supports a raise in minimum wage (by the way which is $5.15 an hour)? Every persons vote does count and together we can make a difference. When we don't get out and vote we are giving White republicans exactly what they want: Free Reign! If you aren't registered to vote go to your local post office and get registered. It's never too late to start. Let's Vote or Die people!

When the wind blows

One of the comments that was posted for "selfish lovers" had this quote "Truth be told we need these kind of people in our life to make us stronger. Iron sharpens iron and men sharpen men. We have to have patient endurance and wait on God to send the wind that is going to blow those needy people out of our path." I thought this was quite ironic because I just finished reading Tyler Perry's new book Madea's commentaries Don't Make A Black woman take off her earrings, where Madea uses the same analogy. Madea says that some people come in your life for seasons and some for a lifetime. Some people are like the leaves on a tree; when their season is over they wither and die and blow away. What I've learned from reading the comments and as funny as it sounds from Madea is that everyone who comes into our lives God brings them for a reason and until they have served their purpose (until we have learned a lesson from them or taught them something) we need to endure the message that God is trying to give us. So until God blows the dead leaves we must take in the beauty that comes with the Fall.

Selfish Lovers

As I was on the topic of unconditional love and when to love and when to let go, it got me thinking about all of us who love people who say that they love us to but deep down we know they don't. I think there are people out there who really don't have a concept of what love really is. Some people think they love you because you love them but really what they love is the attention and the care that you give them. Those folks are lost, confused, and usually very needy. The need to be around people to fulfill them instead of finding fulfillment within. These kinds of people will latch onto the love that you give them and suck you dry until you are trying to figure out why you are so drained all the time. These lost people don't really love you because they don't love themselves. Should we still love these types of people unconditionally; should you love or let go? I don't think love should ever be harmful. It should never make you fell less than you are nor should it ever hold you back from your fullest potential. If the one you love doesn't and can't really love you back, you should let it go. You can still love but love from a far because 2nd hand smoke kills! And the toxicness from someone who doesn't love themselves enough to love someone else can make you miserable.

When to love and when to let go

One of the comments I got on the "Unconditional Love" post contained the question: when do we love and when do we let go? Great question right. I really don't know what my answer is to this one. I look at this question from a stand point of your blood family (mother, father, sisters, brothers) and I really don't think there is a time that you completely let go of them. I think we loosen our grip but we never really let go. If you have a child who is 21, drinking and smoking, doing all kinds of wrong things and just seem like they can't get right; you tell them all the right things to do, you give them the best advice you can and then you let them do what they are going to do. But you never let go of your kids, you just loosen that grip a little. Now we may be sick and tired of them but we never really completely write them off. The rules seem to be completely different for our spouses and even friends. We have this long list of "stuff that I just ain't gonna put up with" that applies to the folks that we invite into our lives. It seems as though it's okay to put conditions on that love and because of those conditions it makes it easier to let go of those people. Really I think if you love someone you do everything in your power not to let go. If the other person doesn't want that love and they want to be let go, then I think you should give them what they want. No relationship can work with only one person carrying all the weight all the time. So I guess my big picture view on when to love and when to let go is: if you both are trying and want it to work; don't ever let go. Talk it through, get some counseling but don't let go. If one of you needs to be carried until you get your strength back then that unconditional love needs to kick in and you carry them. But if they are asking you to let go and that's what they truly want, then I guess that unconditional love should allow you to let them go if that's what's going to make them happy.

Back in the day. Remember how good music was, music that actually made you feel something. Songs like "Before I let you go" "As House is not a home" man... Those songs were like the soundtrack to your life. I know all of you can think of a song and completely just go back to where you were the first time you ever heard it or what was going on and a particular song come on. I can remember my mom having Atlantic Starr's 8 track and listening to it in her room. Circles, Am I dreaming...those songs take me back to when I was little. Everything just seems right. We don't really have great music like that anymore. There are few and far songs now that we will be able to look back and add to our soundtracks. When you take that stroll down memory lane what's the soundtrack playing for your life?? What songs take you back?

Thanks for all your comments on today's post. I just wanted to let everyone know that this "unconditional love" post was just part one. Because I didn't want to make the post much longer than it already was, I left out some points that I wanted to make. But hey the great part of this site is that it can work like my mind, So as the thoughts hit me (even at 11 or 12 at night...cause ya'll know I can't stay up past 12 now :o) I will post and get them out to ya'll. NC

Unconditional love. Many of us don't really know the real definition of unconditional love. I can include myself in the many because I constantly find myself wondering how unconditional the love I have for people really is. God love us, as imperfect as we are, unconditionally. He takes us with all the negative, all the bad attitudes, all the lying, all the cheating; and he still loves us. I think most people genuinly have unconditional love for thier family and their children. If your mom, son, father, brother or sister were to do something terrible to you, most folks take it in (not that you aren't hurt or pissed about it) and over time we forgive our family. But there are those special people in our lives: our wives, husbands, step children and just people in general that we CHOSE to have in our lives. The choice is made to get married, to have close friends, and even to bring someone else's children into our home. You would think that since we chose these people to be in our lives that we would be able to really love them for all the good and all the bad that comes along with them but somehow that choice that we make to bring them in, also makes it so much easier to kick them out. We say to ourselves "Oh no, I will not put up with this or that" and "I'm not dealing with that!" but on the other hand we once loved that person enough to do anything for them. Ricky and I just recently had a talk about cheating. When we were first married, cheating would have been that thing that made both of us say "Enough, I can't do this anymore" but after some years of marriage neither of us have that same answer. I know my answer has changed because I am working towards loving my husband more unconditionally the way I know I love my mother, daughter, and brothers. It's not enough to say you love someone but you need to really know what love is. My big picture of what really encompasses unconditional love is starting to come into focus. Can you see the big picture?

Okay so now I've got the hang of what I need to do to post here. I'm going to try to have a thought for the day everyday because as I drive into work or I talk to folks I have these thoughts (of which I think are epiphanies) and just have to start getting them out.

So my thought for today: Why all of a sudden do parents want to be their kids friends???
I myself am now a parent but I'm not that far removed from my mother's house so I can still freshly remeber living at home under my mom's rules. Don't get me wrong of couse we as parents should be loving and friendly with our kids but I don't understand some people who don't want to discipline their children because they are afraid that they won't like them anymore. Who cares?? They are children with children's minds. They need and really they want discipline.
Somewhere along the way parents have decided that they want to give their children everything because they had nothing growing up. Well the way I see it, having everything is not working out all that well with the droves of kids killing their parents, fellow students, and themselves. Maybe having nothing taught you to enjoy things when you finally got them. Maybe having nothing gave people a sense of purpose to go out and earn something.
I don't know but I know the Big Picture now is a lot worse than the Big Picture of our parents, huh??

Hello everyone. Well I (like I'm sure all of you do too) have a lot on my mind daily that I would like to get out! I really have been pressed lately to start writing again but i have so many things floating around in my mind that I really find it hard to just sit down and create a thesis to start writing around. I think about how I want to help people, how I'd like to change how people think about things, and really how I'd like to change the world. Well this is my first attempt at trying to change something on thought at a time all leading to the big picture!

NC